Kids: Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed...

By raebay - 05/11/2009 01:23 - United States

Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 906

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Same thing different taste

Shidding and farding

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 08:01

Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML

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That's not a child, that's a bio-hazard!

By Anonymous - 08/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Thomasville

Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML

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Little bundles of joy

By SD. - 15/05/2021 16:06 - United States - Essex Junction

Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML

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So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

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Stinky

By Carolina R-h - 18/06/2019 16:30

Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML

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So sweet

By Aislinn - 12/02/2022 12:01

Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML

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You deserved it 193

By Getthelysol - 10/10/2018 05:00

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

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You deserved it 1 522

Shitty situation

By Anonymous - 08/01/2022 05:01

Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML

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You deserved it 205

The sweet smell of…

By Anonymous - 04/03/2017 14:00

Today, my not-quite-potty-trained toddler niece had a 'wee accident' in my bed. I used towels to mop it up and changed the sheets. Later, I had the bright idea to dry it faster by turning the electric blanket on high. Now my room smells like burned urine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 947

You deserved it 6 550

By Eringobrag88 - 27/06/2011 16:08 - United States

Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 271

You deserved it 4 011

UpYourself 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 9:22

Haha kids...

Krystakitty 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 9:29

Its just what Kids do...as a mom you sjhould know to put a towel under her if shes on your bed and if shes prone to taking of her nappy she should have had trousers or a vest with the buttons done up at the bottom common sense really

Comments

blue_eyed 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 20:30

Its called a changing table! Then it wouldn't be as much of a problem since that's where u SLEEP and all

MamaC_fml 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 20:41

Urine and feces in a contained area aren't nothing; wait until she decides to smear her crap all over herself, the newly cleaned white carpet, and your wall minutes before a big family gathering for which you slaved yourself cleaning your home until it was immaculate. Or for her to puke all over you - and I'm not talking about spitup either - I'm talking about the stuff that comes out in yellow and green chunks and smells so bad you never want to see whatever your kid had for lunch again. And watch, the day she tells you she hates you - all children give their parents that agonizing moment - you'll look back at this and mentally beat yourself up over considering a bit of pee and poop as an enough of a FML moment to actually post it.

nofxtime 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 20:44

I never told my parents that I hated them. You must have been a bad kid and/or parent.

kukopia 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 21:14

Plz allow Mr Brevity to translate this FML for ya; Today I found out that motherhood isn't easy or clean, just like everyone always says. No charge for the first one sweetie.

cheetahh45 0

Thursday 5 November 2009 21:32

So uh how many times are people going to say "its motherhood" and "wait till they get to their teen years." While both statements are true once seven people say it why does 40 more have too?