Today, after I bathed my nine month old, I laid her on my bed to grab a diaper. I turned around to see that she'd peed on my comforter. I then put her in her playpen to put my cover in the wash. I came back into the room to get her, and saw she'd taken off her diaper. She'd crapped in her playpen. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I washed the comforter one of my nine-month-old kittens peed on last night. Just as soon as my boyfriend put it on the bed, she peed on it again. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, I took a shower while my two-year-old slept. In the 30 minutes it took me to shower, get dressed, and go back to his room, he had woken up, taken his pants and diaper off, and smears crap all over himself and his bed. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML
Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML
Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML
Today, I went to change my one year-old son's diaper and it was a total disaster! He'd picked at his diaper and it came loose. There was poop all over his sleeper, and when I went to clean it up, he put his hands in it. Let's just say I threw the damn sleeper away. FML
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Top comments
UpYourself 0
Haha kids...
Krystakitty 0
Its just what Kids do...as a mom you sjhould know to put a towel under her if shes on your bed and if shes prone to taking of her nappy she should have had trousers or a vest with the buttons done up at the bottom common sense really
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Comments (129)
misspeg 0
Yeah, what everyone else is saying... YDI for having a baby. Why post this on FML? Grow up.
Bob31_fml 4
that's why i'm never having a baby
skittles1091 0
Aaah. Don't you love kids?! Just wait. They're cute now, but once they become teenagers, you're really screwed. I'd invest in a shotgun for the highschool/boyfriend years. Have fun!
kernelkat 16
This isn't a FML. That's just what babies do.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
This lack of an FML has inspired me to start a dead baby joke section: Q - What's the difference between $20,000 and 20 dead babies? A - I don't have $20,000 in my closet. Q - What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? A - You take your boots off when you jump on a trampoline.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Q - What's worse than a trashcan full of dead babies? A - One live baby towards the bottom of the can. Q - What's even worse than that? A - The live baby is eating its way to the top. Q - What's the best way to get a dead baby out of a blender? A - Salsa chips.
Flutist 3
What's worse than ten babies in one dumpster? One baby in ten dumpsters. How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it's head. How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
500_error 0
YDI for expecting your baby to crap in a diaper. How would *you* like to be forced to wear your poop? Your baby is just being smart. Even newborns are fully capable of occasionally using a potty if you give them opportunities. Google "elimination communication" -- give it a try sometime!
kitten123456 0
you obviously don't have children
Inked2009 0
Your life is not ******, if you can't handle this then you are going to go insane when the little one gets to be a preteen/teenager.
dspadres 0
What a little asshole.
jillz 0
I hope you didn't make that baby feel bad about it.
LollyPop1 0
Ah.. babies.. xD