Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'm officially fat enough I have to lift my belly out of the way to get to my zipper when I need to pee in public toilets. I hate myself. FML
Today, after taking a shower, I decided to weigh myself. Curious, I peered down. I couldn't see the scale. I am fat. FML
Today, I was in the shower when I realised that maybe I'm getting a little too fat. I was scrubbing the old belly when a dollar flew out onto the floor. I'm 23. FML
Today, I realized how fat I really am. While going to the bathroom I leaned to the side to wipe my butt and heard a crack. Not knowing what it was, I continued to wipe. After I finished, I got up to see that I'd cracked the toilet seat in half. FML
Today, I'd had enough of the excrement sticking in my butt hair. Now that I'm shaved, I feel my buttocks rubbing together. With every step. FML
Today, I felt an itch on my butt so I went to the bathroom to scratch it. It was actually a dried layer of skin that broke from years of wear and tear, and now every time I shit I feel immense pain for the next hour. FML
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML
Today, while getting ready for work, I realized that all my pants were getting a bit tight. When I got home from work, I went in to the bathroom and stood on the scale, which confirmed that I have gained a few pounds. I then realized that I was eating while standing on the scale. FML
Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML
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Top comments
Tikwichka 5
Ugh, now there's an image I don't want in my head!
gozar_fml 1
Just make sure you're not the one in walmart with short shorts.
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Comments (269)
youguysaredumb 0
do you people seriously not have anyone better to make fun of than fat people? or would that require too much thought? anyway is it so funny when it is due to a medical reason? i've personally gone back and forth between fat and thin due to cysts inside of me that could possibly cause cancer as well...is cancer as funny as being fat too?
pumpkin_cat 0
If you have a problem with binge eating, if you diet all the time but you can't keep the weight off, you may be a compulsive overeater. It's not your fault, and there is hope. Check out Overeaters Anonymous--it's free, there are no weigh ins, and there's no judgment. www.oa.org can help you find a meeting near you.
GeekyPenguin 0
e _ e Wooow..
mszvaun 0
roflmao
marsty 0
YDI do something about it ya fat ass
letitbe56 0
Do you also have to fill the tub less full so it doesn't overflow?
expen_dable 0
saying "I would put up a pic but I cant because (insert random reason here) translates to "I'm 400 pounds and I breathe through my mouth"
bubber 0
Really? Why would you post that? I don't need to hear about your ass cheeks rolling over your thighs. Not somthing the general population needs to know about. You deserve all the fat jokes just for giving me a mental image.
yourmom5 2
that is very gross!!!!
mjolene 0
@nuke-0... bet your fat too, haha , fat people are gross. your gross.
nuke_o 0
#234 very original comeback. congrats! :) I am fat if you think a girl who wears size 8 jeans 36D bra is fat then go ahead. FYI: you telling me that I am fat probably makes you the fat one here bud;) just saying.