Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
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Top comments
plethora 3
You drank 3 beers in 20 minutes and then decided to get behind the wheel? YDI, even for 30 feet.
Chocoholic17 0
Should've left your car there and walked home.
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Comments (124)
Poepiepiesie 3
Most cops are bastards.
raspackman 0
it's still drunk driving. ydi
jjames67 4
did anyone think that maybe the cops knew about the party, and maybe, just MAYBE made OP take a breathalyzer test before ticketing him? just saying.
YourPunkPrincess 6
Well, I would say dont drink n drive(: Thats way bogus though, I mean 30 ft, really? You shouldnt get a dui for that. But if your house is that close you shoulda walked
jasondavis22 1
Yeah the cops are scum, any chance they get
sulitak 27
really? so a law that is in place to keep people safe shouldn't be enforced according to you? I hope one day a cop is there when you need it so you can understand that their job sucks ass and they have to deal with twerps like you who don't respect them doing their ******* jobs. Laws are there for a reason and cops are there to make sure people follow them. They also are there when emergencies occur, to help keep people safe, and they get shot at. Yeah, there are douches in the profession, just like in every other ******* job field.
darnellq 13
6 houses down is only 30 feet? Damn, that must be some small houses.
Fortitudine 3
YDI, you should've walked home instead, if it was only 30 feet. If you couldn't even think of that as an alternative, you were probably more than buzzed. You know it's illegal to drive with alcohol in your system.
thecornmast3r 3
What if he couldn't leave his car there though?
cuddlebunny3548 11
You def could have left that there for the night
DingoCJ 15
The biggest driveway iv seen was 4km on a property in west QLD, where btw 3 beers shouldn't put you over the limit let alone get you drunk. I don't know about this one, sounds like a shitty cop but either way YDI for getting caught in the first place