Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked six houses down and went to the party for 20 minutes. After coming out after three beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was drunk and crashed on my friend's couch to sober up. On the drive home, a cop pulled me over for seemingly no reason. He kept asking if I had been drinking, to which I answered no. Finally, he told me to look in the mirror. My friends had written all over my face while I slept. FML
Today, I was the designated driver. On the way home with my drunk friends, they decide to give me a beer shower. I swerved, and was pulled over by a cop moments after. I was the only one arrested. FML
Today, I went to a party to see my crush. He offered me a drink and I declined telling him that I don't drink because alcohol makes people act stupid and crash their cars. He then saw me back into a car parked on the street and shatter my backlights as I reversed from the driveway to go home. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, while driving home after the legal curfew, I narrowly avoided a police roadblock and backtracked a mile to drive home another way. I then ran out of gas a mile away from my house. FML
Today, I got a ticket for being drunk in public. I was walking a couple of blocks from the bar to my house, because I didn't want to drive drunk. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML
Today, my best friend broke up with her partner. In retaliation, he got drunk and stole my car, then crashed it into a neighbour's house. Then after dealing with the police who didn't arrest him, he and my best friend made up and went to bed. FML
Today, I attempted to make a good impression amongst new coworkers by volunteering to be the designated driver at my work party. What did that get me? A backseat full of puke and some idiot too drunk to remember where he lived. FML
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Top comments
plethora 3
You drank 3 beers in 20 minutes and then decided to get behind the wheel? YDI, even for 30 feet.
Chocoholic17 0
Should've left your car there and walked home.
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Comments (124)
liljon3 0
you shouldn't drink at all if your driving
liljon3 0
lmao, good call!
kaykay10xo 0
u couldnt walk?!!
LeCorsaire_fml 0
fyl but you should've been smarter. The cops must have been waiting for someone to come out of that party.
treesandhills 0
ydi , like really ? 6 houses ? You could have walked .
WhyworldWhy 0
walk genius you're car can wait untill morning
4545girl 0
i agree 151 YDI you could have walked home and then park your car the next day
The_Nicest_Truth 5
Everyone who is saying it's okay to drive even "semi-drunk": Please, do not even talk unless you understand what it's like to lose someone because of a drunk driver. Even 30 feet could cause enough damage to hit someone and send them flying, and when they collide with something, their brain stem could snap. My brother's best friend, Jon Kramnic(you might have heard of him), just died on November 22nd, 2009, because a man who was drunk(and already had four DUIs, not to mention)hit Jon. He was going the wrong way with his headlights off doing sixty MPH. Honestly, God could not have picked a more undeserving kid. Jon never drank once in his life, or smoked. He had a crazy mother who kicked him out for no reason when he was sixteen(he was seventeen when he died)and he treated her with more respect than more than three-quarters of the kids I know treat their parents, who are awesome, by the way. I don't think I've ever gone through this kind of pain. He was like my big brother, and I had known him since I was born. Then a drunk man hit him and snapped his brain stem and killed him. So, no, it's not okay to drive drunk(or tipsy, or buzzed; just eliminate alcohol from the whole situation), unless you would like to be responsible for an innocent kid's death.
phatdaddy 0
I don't mean to sound like a dick, but what was the BAC of the guy who killed your friend? It was probably pretty high. Driving sleepy is more dangerous than driving with a BAC of 0.10. Most traffic deaths due to alcohol don't occur until the driver has a BAC of 0.15 or above. Below that and the statistics are essentially the same as sober drivers. Banning driving with a BAC of 0.08 like we do is equivalent to banning firecrackers because someone pipe-bombed a school.
theETHELS 0
3 beers in 20 minutes! we should party together!