Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML
Today, I found out my ex broke up with me after 3 years because he's still in love with his ex, who he hasn't spoken to in 6 years. And she dumped him for the same reason. FML
Today, I checked my ex's profile for the first time since we broke up a few months ago. He's dating a girl who's so pretty, and he looks so happy. He started dating her about 3 weeks after we broke up and when I broke up with him he wasn't upset at all. He had been ignoring me for weeks, and forgot our anniversary. FML
Today, at the library, I saw my ex for the first time in two years, about 100lbs lighter and super hot. She’s engaged now. I asked her why she couldn’t do that for me when we were together. She replied, “Because my man loved me at my worst, unlike you. So he deserves me at my best. Have a nice day.” and walked away. FML
Today, I was coming home from a date, I saw my ex standing in my drive-way. He had dumped me 2 months ago saying he couldn't talk me. To make him jealous, I made out with my new guy before greeting him. Turns out he couldn't talk to me because he had had cancer and had been afraid to tell me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at a grocery store. We haven't seen each other since we broke up a few months ago, and when he introduced me, he called me by the wrong name. We dated for three years. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
Today, I met my ex from the college, and he invited me to dinner. Back then, he was rude and a bit abusive, but I agreed anyway. The man I saw today is loving, caring and fun, with a good job, and I really liked his wife. On the other hand, I'm between jobs, and my relationship's turned into the utter bore. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
*throws coffee at face* "Now you're a hot mess too, asshole!"
corbendo 3
Did you still get your coffee?
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Comments (228)
maidofawesome 0
Well do you still love him now?
leadman1989 16
Probably. Girls like jerks
Jaxx66 21
Not all girls. I like nerds. They usually aren't mean, unless you go for the elitist approach....
nerdsgetmehot 23
#146 Me too! I have never been into jerks. Nerds are where it's at.
Btlr7 0
If you still love someone who's such a dick after 3 years then he actually must be right, you are a mess!
beebeeL 1
PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN
beebeeL 1
Btw, you idiots who are saying "you are a mess if you still love him" if you TRULY ever loved someone you never stop loving themn you are just not IN love w them anymore, 2 seperate things & goes to show NONE Of you including OP really knows what love is!
Oreogasm 5
WHAT?!
ikickgingers 15
16 / You sound like the jilted ex who's hiding in the bushes... Professing your undying love for the man who didn't love you enough while you playback the infrared videos of your latest victim err I mean ex.
Nutty4Muffs 3
What's so wrong with that kicky? I'd love the attention.
nivek2120 8
What Nicholas Sparks book did you read that out of?? It's called moving forward with your life and doing something not getting hung up on someone else's life!
coolstorybro6969 6
Woah...do you know the meaning of life too?
SkardeyKat 3
Have YOU ever been in love and then have them be a total jerk, beat you, maybe cheat on you while you are pregnant? Trust me, it is possible to 100% hate the guts of someone you once loved with your whole heart. Relationships sometimes aren't all kitten farts and unicorn burps like you think it will be as a teenager.
Jaxx66 21
*goes into a chorus of "have you ever loved a woman"*
jigsawbanana 0
well thank God his sorry ass isnt with you anymore! he probably didn't deserve you anyway. whatta dick.
13FMYLIFE 0
"You're a hot mess and I'm fallin for you!" oh.. I think he got the line wrong....
ShutUpAndStare 7
XD I was singing that too
MyEpicDemise 7
You should've made a comeback by saying, "Yeah, I'm glad I broke up with you too. You barely lasted 5 seconds in bed."
saIty 17
Your ex is just dating a plastic Barbie doll, who'll take all his shit soon. If you want revenge steal his Xbox/PS3 and watch him cry.
DocBastard 40
Are you assuming all models are vapid, empty shells who rely on looks alone to get by? Brooke Shields: graduated with honors from Princeton Cindy Crawford: valedictorian of her high school class Iman: speaks five languages You're obviously right.
saIty 17
No I was just assuming that he was dating a girl who looks like Snooki.
xcarxcrashx 9
Because people routinely refer to people who look like Snookie as models.
starcristen 3
Not all models, just the one who dates a guy who would be so cruel to his ex, right in front of her, and then walk out with him. Doesn't seem like a smart girl to me considering he's showing what he'll be capable of doing when they eventually break up
twofirstnames 12
Why would you still be in love to that?! What a dick.
rubyinseattle 1
Anyone who talks like that to you is not worth pining over!! Seriously! He'd only treat you like shit if you married him and who needs that? Life's too short.