Today, after 3 years, I saw my ex, who I still love, at a coffee shop. Being nice, I said hi. He turned around, looked at me, and said, "Thank God I broke up with you. You look like a hot mess!" before getting up and walking out with his model girlfriend. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after seven months apart, I agreed to meet with my ex, wondering if he'd changed. He sure did. He lost a ton of weight and picked up several new hobbies. He also picked up a 23 year-old new girlfriend. She's slimmer and prettier than I'll ever be. I threw my drink in his face and left in tears. FML
Today, I found out my ex broke up with me after 3 years because he's still in love with his ex, who he hasn't spoken to in 6 years. And she dumped him for the same reason. FML
Today, I checked my ex's profile for the first time since we broke up a few months ago. He's dating a girl who's so pretty, and he looks so happy. He started dating her about 3 weeks after we broke up and when I broke up with him he wasn't upset at all. He had been ignoring me for weeks, and forgot our anniversary. FML
Today, at the library, I saw my ex for the first time in two years, about 100lbs lighter and super hot. She’s engaged now. I asked her why she couldn’t do that for me when we were together. She replied, “Because my man loved me at my worst, unlike you. So he deserves me at my best. Have a nice day.” and walked away. FML
Today, I was coming home from a date, I saw my ex standing in my drive-way. He had dumped me 2 months ago saying he couldn't talk me. To make him jealous, I made out with my new guy before greeting him. Turns out he couldn't talk to me because he had had cancer and had been afraid to tell me. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend at the store, holding hands with his very pregnant girlfriend. They were buying baby supplies. We had a very nasty and painful breakup not even three months ago. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend at a grocery store. We haven't seen each other since we broke up a few months ago, and when he introduced me, he called me by the wrong name. We dated for three years. FML
Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
Today, I met my ex from the college, and he invited me to dinner. Back then, he was rude and a bit abusive, but I agreed anyway. The man I saw today is loving, caring and fun, with a good job, and I really liked his wife. On the other hand, I'm between jobs, and my relationship's turned into the utter bore. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
*throws coffee at face* "Now you're a hot mess too, asshole!"
corbendo 3
Did you still get your coffee?
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Comments (228)
droln4maltesers 8
Hope you're not in love with him anymore...
ya_momma 4
Bet youre not in love with him anymore :p
hellproof023 6
The only state in America where you can say "hot mess" and be straight
fuckallyoupeople 4
He's a bitch
alexsandria83 18
Sounds like he is a ******* prick! Your better off with out him
elizacandle 29
What an asshole. You're better off.
Stephencharis 14
he does not deserve you....you are the best you can be....
silentxninja 13
What a jerk.... you should have replied "good thing you did break up with me; otherwise I'd still be stuck with a superficial asshole." And then proceeded to pour your hot coffee on him.
great_nate 26
He's a jerk. But it's three years. Move on. And if he's that much of a jerk now, I have to think he was a jerk then too.
knuckleheadknock 26
I know the feeling. Believe me, if he treats you like that, he won't have his 'model' girlfriend for much longer either.