Miscellaneous: Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water... - FML

By waterbottlehit - 02/12/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 389

You deserved it 3 461

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:14 - United States

Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 333

You deserved it 4 362

Cool moves

By UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH - 09/11/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 756

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 21/05/2012 01:10 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 069

You deserved it 2 028

Smashing awakening

By charapos - 06/02/2022 12:00

Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 220

Sorry

By Dang - 29/01/2017 18:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 430

You deserved it 1 191

By tarheels526 - 08/02/2009 00:53 - United States

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 621

You deserved it 27 463

By Anonymous - 30/04/2009 12:16 - United States

Today, my phone started ringing in the other room. I ran to go pick it up, tripped over my coffee table which gashed my leg, and knocked over my brand new 50" LCD TV, which broke over my head. Turns out it was a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 432

You deserved it 15 292

By Anonymous - 03/07/2014 00:59

Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 495

You deserved it 4 514

But… why would you do that?

By cheerupsookylala - 29/09/2023 14:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 859

By couturier - 02/01/2010 07:08 - France

Today, I emptied out a bottle of water onto my porch as I was going into my house. Only a couple of hours later, I decided to leave and slipped on what had turned into ice, bruised my tailbone and sprained my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 951

You deserved it 36 207

Next

Top comments

Cyanidenhappines 0

Friday 2 December 2011 12:15

Haha that's pretty funny actually.

EvilPotato 14

Friday 2 December 2011 12:18

Oh my god, it's a sign if the Apocalypse, run for your lives!

Comments

1JDub 6

Friday 2 December 2011 13:19

You my friend were the victim of a new wave of gangs called the Water Boys. Being water boys in life, and thus lame...they call their victims and warn of the attack! Be warned America....

darnellq 13

Friday 2 December 2011 13:21

If a friend pulling a prank on you (9 out of 10 this is what happened) is FML, you got a shitty life. Get a sense of humor.

wriptidez 0

Friday 2 December 2011 13:51

waterproof sunscreen

laxmtl28 6

Friday 2 December 2011 14:03

BOOM HEADSHOT!!!

leogirl95 12

Friday 2 December 2011 15:17

"Beware the cops."

l0rd1r1sh 2

Friday 2 December 2011 15:25

zooweemama

Commander223 9

Saturday 3 December 2011 8:59

*Takes off sunglasses* The Diary Of A Wimpy Kid - Rowley. Quote is most popular from books 1 and 2. Boom.

Irchell 17

Friday 2 December 2011 15:30

Winning!

ILoveTabz 0

Friday 2 December 2011 15:38

Oh, you crazy kids and your water bottles ;)

RuneRifle 22

Friday 2 December 2011 15:48

Awesome... I might try it once too! But then with random stuff. A sponge, a banana, you name it! :D

UrCapsLockOn 12

Friday 2 December 2011 15:54

was it followed by .. ''I know what you did last summer'' ??

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Keywords

Video games Gamers Annoying Birthday Relatable Abuse Social Media Money Scams Parents School Kids Education Health Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Music Geek Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Bikes Transportation Cops Family Fight Customers Work Gross

The Top

Today, I learned that dirty talk does NOT get me off. My boyfriend and I were having sex and I said, "I'm going to come" during the beginning of my orgasm. My orgasm immediately stopped right after I said that. I'd managed to turn myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 338

You deserved it 15 971

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 308

You deserved it 3 970

The Top

Today, I had breakfast with my roommate and he was so loud, my ears felt ready to burst. If I even suggest he needs his hearing checked, he erupts like Mt. Vesuvius. Everyone agrees, he has no "inside voice" and they don't know how to handle his near-shouting to your face either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 78

Today, my friend spotted for me while I was lifting a barbell. He thought it would be hilarious to tickle my armpits as I lifted it all the way up. I can still taste vomit in my mouth and it hurts to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 162

You deserved it 1 554

Today, my girlfriend asked me to hold her purse while shopping. All of a sudden, a robber punched me in the face and took her purse. She started crying about her purse and told me to get off the ground because I was embarrassing her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 788

You deserved it 10 065

Today, I received a card in the mail. It was from my vet's office. Written inside was "We send our sympathy during this trying time." I haven't been home in three days. I can't find my dog and my mother won't talk about it. My dog was 7. She hated that dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 638

You deserved it 2 748

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house for dinner with his family. His mom cooked up a steak dinner, except that I'm a vegan, but trying to be a good girlfriend, I forced it down. Upon his mother finding out I was a vegan, she called me "disloyal to my beliefs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 263

You deserved it 39 746

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 727

You deserved it 6 049