Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML
Today, I was drinking a bottle of water. My friend came up from behind and scared me, causing me to inhale and choke on the water. Lacking air, I passed out. I awoke to him on the ground laughing his ass off. I almost drowned drinking a bottle of water. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
Today, I was in class with a water bottle on my desk. I was on my phone not paying attention, when some girl knocked it over by accident. I went to grab it, even though it was in the corner of my eye. I caught the bottle of water but I also happened to grab her ass at the same time. FML
Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML
Today, my phone started ringing in the other room. I ran to go pick it up, tripped over my coffee table which gashed my leg, and knocked over my brand new 50" LCD TV, which broke over my head. Turns out it was a wrong number. FML
Today, I opened my window due to the good weather. I was lucky enough to listen to the sounds of someone violently throwing up for over an hour. The window got stuck open. FML
Today, I drank water from a random, half-full water bottle I found inside a bumper car (AKA dodgems) at the local fairground, thinking it was mine. It wasn't. FML
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Top comments
Cyanidenhappines 0
Haha that's pretty funny actually.
EvilPotato 15
Oh my god, it's a sign if the Apocalypse, run for your lives!
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Comments (114)
bad_chiquita 5
Beware the new internet meme.
DocBastard 40
A drive-by bottling. Interesting. Watch out for the drive-by butt-plugging, coming next week.
laxmtl28 6
thanks for the idea ??? suprise butt sex
EdgelessFire 0
Omg i dont want my butt plugged!
Buttsexpirate 9
Did somebody say butt sex?
me_gusta_eso 1
I don't think so..
sheethapins 13
Butt sex.
Ilikeurfmls 13
Throw a rock back! >:)
spazz666 18
Yes, from inside the house.... QUICK OP, START BREAKING OFF CHUNKS OF COUNTERTOP AND DRYWALL!
spazz666 18
Rather, from inside. Sorry, should have re-read the FML before commenting. DX
georgie_sd 5
At least they warned you :o
maphineRAWRS 10
Hey, can't say they didn't warn you.
jwade11 12
22-- sexy sexy!!
jwade11 12
22-- u bi?
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
The world is coming to an end, and it starts with freaks throwing water bottles.
MellyBee 9
It must be someone you know if they knew you're phone number - did you recognize the caller's voice?
MellyBee 9
whoops *your
dirtroadboy 7
atleast yu gotta warning
sunshine_cc 3
That seems physically impossible unless you did dishes for hours.
doonerz 0
wrong FML. FML.
Natty23 0
Hey, I live in Michigan too, I might of threw The water bottle! >:P