And why wasn’t the judge aware of that?

As someone who came from a broken family, has a brother 2x married, 2x divorced and myself previously divorced with less than a year married (she cheated), calm down. Make sure who you find next treats your kids well, and is ok becoming a mother figure eventually. Life gets better, and find joy in raising your kids. See life through their eyes and the selfless focus on them will help you too. You’ll see them progress and you’ll see it in you too. This is just a shift in priorities, and don’t lie to your kids over it or use them with intent of revenge against your ex. Be a proper parent and be the best you can. It gets better. Use the suicide helpline or confide in close friends, try to stay active and find an activity to do with others. Life can be awesome. Sometimes it takes wading through the mud in the rain to find those awesome green pastures. Reach out to me if you need help. I promise I’ll listen and not judge. You got this! Edit: sorry, I don’t know why I assumed OP was a father. My apologies are incorrect, but my offer stands.