Today, I’m in the hospital with a broken leg and a bruised left backside, because my boyfriend’s wife came home earlier than expected from work and my only escape was from the second story window. Turns out, plastic trash cans are not very cushion-y. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend convinced me to sneak out. As I was climbing out of my 3rd floor window, he got a text and moved the ladder. Now I'm in the hospital with two broken ribs. FML
Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML
Today, I broke my boyfriend's nose trying to pop his blackheads. His leg jerked in shock, kicked my leg, and I fell, breaking the mirror, cutting myself, and slamming into the bathroom sink. I woke up in the hospital, with over a hundred stitches, and my poor boyfriend in jail for suspected domestic abuse. FML
Today, I have a broken leg, four broken fingers, a cracked rib, a concussion, and an infection fever, and my wife still sent me downstairs with a bat to check for burglars when she heard a noise at 2 a.m. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to jump out from behind the bedroom door to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. I slipped and broke two ribs when I hit the ground. Instead of a sexy birthday evening, he got to take me to hospital. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend came over to visit. Being nice, I let him walk down the stairs first, following after him. I still managed to reach the bottom before he did; after taking one step, I lost my footing and fell all the way down, scraping the skin off my arms and legs, and bruising my butt. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell down the stairs and broke her ankle. She also had a bruise on her leg due to her friend biting her. I spent the night in the hospital to be there for her and support her, but I should have expected that the nurses would treat me like a criminal. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be sexy to pick me up and throw me on the bed. I rolled off and broke my collarbone. FML
Today, it's been a few days since I moved into a new apartment and was excited to finally have a balcony. I went out to enjoy the view, but as I leaned against the railing, it gave way and I fell two stories onto the pavement below. I ended up with a broken leg and a huge medical bill. FML
Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML
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Top comments
JackWood 21
That you landed in a trash can seems like a perfect ending
Anderling 33
Life hack: if you date single guys instead of being awful and cheating with married jerks, you don’t have to lie to their wives and won’t have to jump out of the window to keep up the cheating. Hope that helps! (:
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Comments (13)
coolrunnings1021 14
Why should you run? Unless you are complicit in the affair? 🤔
Anderling 33
Life hack: if you date single guys instead of being awful and cheating with married jerks, you don’t have to lie to their wives and won’t have to jump out of the window to keep up the cheating. Hope that helps! (:
RichardPencil 32
You ought to sue that bitch for ruining your sexy time! That must be against the law somewhere.
Grincha 14
sue wife? 🤣🤣
JackWood 21
That you landed in a trash can seems like a perfect ending
Crowned Sataness 12
FAFO
Aiden89 23
YDI, no sympathy for cheaters
slhiggx 17
Sounds like you got exactly what you deserve.
jobekka 20
she didn't make a promise to the wife, the husband did
Jaffster69 6
Your fault. You should have hid in the closet. Or don’t be cheap. Pay for a hotel instead!
poopface82 25
Possible answers: Weed. Hitting your SO. Sleeping with married dudes/chicks. Question: Name something that has both a legal/ethical way to do it and an illegal/unethical way to do it. Weed is legal if you have a medical card or drive to a state where it’s legal. Hitting your SO is legal if it’s consensual sex play. Sleeping with married individuals is OK if they engage in ENM. If that’s your thing, I suggest looking into it. Otherwise, you stuck your genitals in the fire and got burned.
kitten79TX 5
Zero sympathy. Don't date married men unless they are in an open, poly type relationship and you can CONFIRM it with the wife.