Awkward and Intimacy: THIS DOESN'T FEEL NICE… OHHH

THIS DOESN'T FEEL NICE… OHHH

By SplishSplash - 01/09/2013 01:21 - United States

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 588

You deserved it 6 915

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Same thing different taste

Good vibrations

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 04:01 - United States

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 785

You deserved it 16 306

Ski me to heaven

By Frostbitten - 27/02/2013 03:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 302

You deserved it 6 124

By OG Pinecone - 23/07/2019 20:11 - United States - Englewood

Today, I was hanging with friends up at my best friend's cabin. We were in his hot tub cracking jokes when he told one that sent me into a fit of hysterics. He tried to shut me up by splashing water on me. It worked, because when I jerked my head to the side, I dislocated a rib. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 220

By nightwalker2253 - 16/11/2015 07:13 - United States - Orange

Today, I was floating on a river with some friends when I accidentally splashed one of their girlfriends in the face. She started crying and everyone gave me the silent treatment for the rest of the trip. We are all 26 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 438

You deserved it 2 419

Sea legs

By have it your way - 29/04/2014 19:13 - United States - Rochester

Today, during a boat trip with my boyfriend's family, I got seasick and went to the side of the boat to puke. A current rocked the boat so badly that I fell overboard, prompting a panicked rescue and my boyfriend's mom muttering that I'm a pathetic attention whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 140

You deserved it 5 069

By shitpile - 06/08/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 480

You deserved it 4 045

False alarm

By dirtyhands - 18/02/2009 23:01 - United States

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 518

You deserved it 62 891

By duckwater - 01/03/2010 06:43 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 827

You deserved it 4 124

Surf's Up

By Anonymous - 25/08/2021 12:01 - United States - Wilmington

Today, as I was strapping my boogie board to my wrist, a wave slammed the board right into my crotch. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 155

By fuck kids - 06/06/2013 18:24 - United States - Binghamton

Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 390

You deserved it 3 447

AnOriginalName 19

Sunday 1 September 2013 8:34

Talk about getting wet...

flashback.miss 28

Sunday 1 September 2013 8:32

Jeez, hopefully he'll understand and not bring it up.

Comments

soapmactavish82 8

Monday 2 September 2013 5:56

Oh my

WhiteCrimson 23

Monday 2 September 2013 9:02

Intense. Lets just hope that your dad's friend does not invite you to more boat trips alone.

LittleMagicWolf 7

Monday 2 September 2013 19:45

While I never understood how people have one by boating, you had a great one. I'm sorry that guy noticed though D:

TheImaginarySong 16

Monday 2 September 2013 19:50

How did that make you ****** exactly?

harrison_beaty 6

Tuesday 3 September 2013 2:57

Cum, on you gotta be kidding me

Ellae_fml 7

Tuesday 3 September 2013 19:59

Maybe he had one too? :)

mesahus 5

Wednesday 4 September 2013 0:59

Just pretend that you were extremely seasick LOL. I feel so bad for you, OP

snazzily 2

Wednesday 4 September 2013 3:48

did you tell him to pull your hair and spit in your mouth?

dubaixotic 6

Thursday 5 September 2013 4:46

Damn, now thats how you bust a nut, like a boss. :D

sergei_yusef 11

Thursday 5 September 2013 19:49

Oh dang O.O

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 848

You deserved it 7 890

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551

You deserved it 119

The Top

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 420

You deserved it 55 279

Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 872

You deserved it 2 520

Today, I reported my neighbor to the leasing office for never picking up her dog’s turds. They told me they couldn't do anything without proof, so I snapped a picture and sent it in. Ever since then, I’ve been getting dog turds thrown on my porch. Coincidence? I think not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 151

You deserved it 217

Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 968

You deserved it 8 589

Today, I decided to call my wife while she was having a private lunch with my parents. I began to tell her all the nasty things I was going to do to her in bed. Halfway through my fantasy, she giggled and told me that she was going to take me off speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 813

You deserved it 71 864

Today, my friends and I went nuclear on a now former "friend," who we've discovered is a textbook narcissist. She unfriended all of us on all forms of social media, and tried to say WE unfriended HER, and overall tried to make it seem as though she was the victim. Thanks for proving my point, bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 274