Today, I visited my girlfriend’s family in Louisiana and her grandmother told her Pawpaw was still alive. Was it a neighbor or relative. Nope, a 60 year-old 12-foot alligator in the river behind their house. He actually came like a dog when she whistled. Scared the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML
Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML
Today, I learned that my husband “accidentally” let the dog out and allowed her to be eaten by an alligator because I got a male coworker, who is also a good friend of mine, a birthday present. We had an argument about our friendship, which apparently bothers him. I’d had that dog since I was a junior in high school. FML
Today, my boyfriend realised that I’m from the part of Louisiana where we hunt gators for food, and dumped me because he doesn’t want to be a city boy who ends up fathering redneck kids, and having to sail through swamps to visit the in-laws. FML
Today, I realized my mom was right. I should have listened to her and not gotten a pet alligator. FML
Today, while on an airboat exploring the Everglades, my cousin decided it would be funny to push me off the boat. Into water full of alligators. FML
Today, while at the dinner table, my grandmother told me she backed over a cat. FML
Today, I went to visit my grandmother. My grandfather recently died, so I had gotten her a cat for comfort. Turns out in her sadness, she had forgotten about the cat. I found its remains being eaten by ants and birds. FML
Today, I was having a nice moment with my granddaughter as she was being affectionate by stroking my face. We were both quite content, until she said, "Aw, Grandma, your skin feels just like a crocodile." FML
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Let's hope OP can handle Cajun spice or he ain't gonna last long.
FluffythePink 24
Both alligators and crocodiles have now been documented as being perfectly capable of emotional attachment, the fact that this grand ol' man is still a, living and b, attached to your gf is to be respected. But I get the ARGH! As he came out of the water like a dinosaur. That must have been a real Moment. If he's amenable to it, you could try making friends too? Not everyone gets to meet such a splendid beast and walk away with all their limbs still attached.
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Comments (1)
BurnInDemonFire 39
Let's hope OP can handle Cajun spice or he ain't gonna last long.
FluffythePink 24
Both alligators and crocodiles have now been documented as being perfectly capable of emotional attachment, the fact that this grand ol' man is still a, living and b, attached to your gf is to be respected. But I get the ARGH! As he came out of the water like a dinosaur. That must have been a real Moment. If he's amenable to it, you could try making friends too? Not everyone gets to meet such a splendid beast and walk away with all their limbs still attached.
tiptoppc 21
My family is from Louisiana. They are a different breed down there, and sometimes a whole new level of crazy. I’ll leave the racist part out. They can be one a whole new level as well on that. At least my family down there is. *shudders*