Money: The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one! - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 97

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 62

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 452

You deserved it 32

The first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one!

By zarko - 14/02/2017 14:00

Today, I created myself a Dropbox folder named "Traffic fines". FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 273

You deserved it 5 547

Broken heart

Weird-ass kids

Drunken antics

Taking pictures

By Anonymous - 05/12/2019 14:00

Today, I was teaching a high school calculus class. I wrote a complex formula on the board. As I wrote, students asked if they could take a picture of the board and circulate it. I said yes, and I was pleased as everybody seemed to be taking pictures. Soon, I realized why: my skirt was tucked into my underwear. Within a few minutes, every student in the school had an email with a picture of my ugliest pair of floral-printed panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 158

You deserved it 447

23/07/2019 23:07

Today, I was woken up and kicked out of my friend's party at 3:00 in the morning. This wouldn't have been so bad if someone hadn't stolen my shoes. I had to walk for an hour in the rain, in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 376

27/09/2009 04:10

Today, I went to the bar to celebrate my friend's birthday party. I gave the bouncer my ID and he kicked me out, saying that I should at least use an ID card with the correct gender. I'm 22 and female, he thought I was an underage boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 418

You deserved it 3 965

11/09/2009 20:46

Today, I got out of the shower to find my cat staring up at me. Apparently my swinging penis looks like a cat toy to her, so she jumped up and clawed and tried to bite it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 861

You deserved it 7 298

That sucks

By Anonymous - 29/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new vacuum cleaner after having to go several months without one. Immediately, I wanted to try it out. I must have underestimated how powerful it was, as it sucked up my socks and then broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 420

You deserved it 923

18/08/2010 06:23

Spicy

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 411

You deserved it 14 980

True crime

By Anonymous - 24/08/2021 06:01

Today, I realized why I had more than a little obsession with a show, in particularly one character, when I was transferring files to my new phone and saw a drawing my ex had sent me. She went missing, with zero leads, over 18 months ago and I can't stop clinging to either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 792

You deserved it 76

12/09/2009 06:58

Today, my brother thought he would take my key and steal my shoes from my football locker while I was at practice. What he didn't think about was him leaving my locker unlocked for the 3 hours of practice. Someone stole my iPod, my cell phone, my wallet, and all of my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 097

You deserved it 2 830

This is war!

By Kilimanjaro - 03/04/2012 04:41

Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 001

You deserved it 6 034

25/10/2009 15:56

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend admitted to checking out other girls when he's with me. In his defense, "he doesn't look at their face or boobs. Just their ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 240

You deserved it 5 718

Assumption Day

By hashtag beard life - 12/10/2020 17:01

Today, my 5-year-old daughter said she, “hates daddy’s kisses because they feel funny.” My extended family freaked out and assumed the worse. My husband has recently grown a beard and my daughter hates how scratchy it feels. He’s not a monster but they still treat us weird now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 68

10/05/2009 04:48

Today, I treated myself to a spa day at home. First, I decided to do a hot oil treatment on my hair. I was leaning over the saucepan of oil on the stove when it flared up in my face. On the bright side, I no longer have to worry about plucking my eyebrows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 805

You deserved it 52 634

26/01/2009 02:51

Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 758

You deserved it 4 406

25/03/2012 12:09

Spicy

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 522

You deserved it 14 456

Who's a good boy? Not you.

By Anonymous - 21/02/2017 22:00

Today, while walking my dog in a cemetery, she stole a stuffed animal off a child's grave and began to play with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 608

You deserved it 3 359

Freak Scene

By antsgomarching - 06/10/2020 17:01

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I felt an itch on my arm. Then another. Then another. I finally looked to see what was going on, only to find a bunch of ants crawling in my bed. They were somehow getting in through the closed window. Guess I’m done sleeping tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 85

25/11/2009 20:25

Today, I was walking into the building I hoped to work in someday with my resume, ready to be interviewed. As I walked through the doors I had to sneeze, so lifted my hands and sneezed a huge bloody booger right in the middle of the cover page. Turns out future employers don't like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 884

You deserved it 7 383

17/11/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 782

You deserved it 3 878

11/06/2009 16:06

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 576

You deserved it 863 795

20/03/2011 20:32

Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 307

You deserved it 9 825

Take it easy

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 11:00

Today, despite my muscles being just fine, my genetic collagen deformity has caused insane amounts of pain over things like 'walking' or 'sweeping the floor'. I used to be able to hike up mountains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 50

01/09/2015 19:43

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 245

You deserved it 1 619

05/10/2011 18:58

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 538

You deserved it 22 446

03/11/2010 00:57

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 404

You deserved it 9 563

17/07/2012 15:32

Spicy

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 202

You deserved it 43 823

09/01/2009 05:18

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 826

You deserved it 2 781

10/12/2010 07:17

Today, I came home to find my 25 year old boyfriend laughing hysterically at his laptop while he made Microsoft Sam say "feces", "penis", and "diarrhea". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 422

You deserved it 8 917

18/04/2015 03:12

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 861

You deserved it 2 656

Family

By megamonster99 - 07/11/2016 15:06

Today, I helped my hoarder grandfather clean out his garage. Not only did I step on a nail, I also slipped in a puddle of used oil that's been sitting out for two years, and broke my nose. He didn't pay me since I wasn't able to finish the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 227

You deserved it 988

03/10/2012 22:03

Today, I went to my girlfriend's house to play Twister. Her parents watched us the whole time, making sure we didn't touch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 639

You deserved it 2 723

Support

By CallmeTokey - 12/07/2016 03:21

Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 626

You deserved it 15 231

17/04/2012 02:09

Today, the closest I got to a vacation was the smell of my new towels, because they remind me of a hotel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 685

You deserved it 2 463

06/07/2009 19:34

Today, I saw a major accident then stopped to help the drivers. I was on my way to a rest stop to use the bathroom so as we were waiting for police I went into the woods and I come out to the police arresting me for public urination. One of the drivers said I was "using the woods for a bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 300

You deserved it 4 531

15/03/2010 01:39

Today, while walking to my car through the snow, I noticed the sunroof was open and 2 feet of snow had poured in. Angry, I opened the door to start cleaning. That's when I noticed all the wildlife that had taken refuge inside from the cold. Not only were my seat cushions wet, they were torn open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 849

You deserved it 26 238

04/02/2016 14:13

Today, after being told numerous times how sexist the East Coast is, I went ahead with my East Coast grad school architecture interview. The first thing out of the interviewer's mouth was, "Are you sure you don't want to do interior architecture?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 008

You deserved it 2 965

02/08/2012 16:30

Today, as I sat down in the plane, I realized that for the next seven hours I would be sitting next to a priest who refused to stop praying aloud, and an old man who wanted to tell me the story of how the toothpick came to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 970

You deserved it 2 413

16/01/2019 20:00

Today, I got trapped in the airport lift for half an hour with my family while heading to departure. We ended up missing our flight. 3000 Malaysian bucks were spent on that flight. No one wants to compensate our loss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 695

You deserved it 166

21/08/2011 09:59

Spicy

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 718

You deserved it 7 876

19/06/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a post-it note on my locker that said "consider yourself dumped". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 741

You deserved it 4 661

12/11/2010 18:23

Today, my six year old daughter discovered the family's pet rabbit in the basement freezer. The rabbit had died almost a year ago, and we'd stored it in the freezer, intending to bury it later. Here's to the trauma of losing the family pet. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 737

You deserved it 44 538

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 14:12

If your creating a fold for your traffic fines maybe you should take driving lessons or start taking the bus and train.

ScratchCatPower 32

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 17:16

If your driving is that much of a problem, just take the bus.

Comments

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 14:03

better remember to pay it later

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 14:12

If your creating a fold for your traffic fines maybe you should take driving lessons or start taking the bus and train.

almost_there44 26

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 18:50

You're *.

ScratchCatPower 32

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 17:16

If your driving is that much of a problem, just take the bus.

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 18:04

Driving is a serious business. When you drive, not only yours but the life of your fellow passengers, as well as others on the road is at stake. Do learn driving well from a professional, unless you got all these tickets due to lame luck. In the latter case nevermind.

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 18:09

Learn to drive.

Cali 54

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Thursday 16 February 2017 11:45

Right? Especially if he's posing a danger to others...

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 18:17

Who gave this man da license

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 19:21

Don't worry, the fines will stop coming when you die in a traffic accident. I just hope you don't kill anyone else with your bad driving.

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Tuesday 14 February 2017 19:22

Don't worry, the fines will stop coming when you die in a traffic accident. I just hope you don't kill anyone else with your bad driving.