By Anonymous - 1/11/2020 17:01

Healthcare is broken

Today, after driving 3 and a half hours to the nearest major emergency room, waiting 7+ hours to see my grandfather's bowel cancer specialist, we were told to go back to our hotel. Why? The triage nurse never logged my grandfather into the system, so his doctor went home at 9.00 p.m. when he'd finished theatre. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1107

You deserved it

49

Tweet

Share

White line fever

No one likes a smart-ass

Vibe check

By Brokebitch2017

Today, I finally got my phone and internet services reinstated after a billing mishap. During the week that I was without service, I had 3 requests for interviews and a position offer. None of those opportunities are still available. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7258

You deserved it

754

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got excited because I found Monsters University and The Croods online, neither of which I've seen. I'm 33, single, and it's Saturday night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42073

You deserved it

8062

Tweet

Share

By trbaby - United States - El Cajon

Today, I was at a house-warming party and my friend was in her kitchen making drinks. When I was almost done with my drink, I went to take the last gulp and saw three mouse turds stuck to the inside bottom of the glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6663

You deserved it

517

Tweet

Share

By elizio - United States - Trenton

Today, I went to a high school reunion. An old friend I hadn't seen in a while suddenly came up to me and gasped, "Oh, thank God!" I was about to greet her and catch up when she added, "I'm not the only one who gained weight!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

26543

You deserved it

2895

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40275

You deserved it

5384

Tweet

Share

By ThreeWeeksWithoutSex - United States - San Francisco

Today, my daughter fell asleep early, so my husband and I decided to get frisky. He passed out mid blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24185

You deserved it

2848

Tweet

Share

By lois2lane - United States

Today, a car was tailgating and honking at me while trying to pass me, so I decided to be a bitch back and go extremely slow. We got to a two lane road and the car passed me up. The man in the front seat flipped me off while pointing to his wife in the back seat who was clearly in labor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12928

You deserved it

67819

Tweet

Share

By Lordy - Saudi Arabia

Today, I went to work to find a picture on my desk of me with my buttcrack showing put there by an anonymous person. FM

I agree, your life sucks

13543

You deserved it

2427

Tweet

Share

By hrtbrkn - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "god told him to." What god didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51165

You deserved it

6170

Tweet

Share

By Blondie - United States

Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16220

You deserved it

92653

Tweet

Share

By Username - United States

Today, a highly intoxicated man came into my workplace and complained that the medicine that I'd prescribed for his dog almost choked him. I work at Blockbuster. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32572

You deserved it

2583

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of five and a half years to family dinner at a restaurant. After we all had finished dessert, I got down on one knee, pulled out my great grandmother's ring and proposed. The entire restaurant was dead silent. She looked around and then slowly walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

75958

You deserved it

6642

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Estonia - Tallinn

Today, a friend who I hadn't seen in a while offered to give me a ride. I didn't really know how to give directions to my house, so when we had been driving for a while and it was getting awkward, I just pointed at a random house and pretended to live there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11629

You deserved it

39209

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Spain - Santa Cruz De Tenerife

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28908

You deserved it

9644

Tweet

Share

By graphite01 - United States - Eugene

Today, I found out that I was never actually enrolled in the class I've been attending all semester. I guess that explains why I only got $400 dollars in student aid, not the 1,200 they said I'd get. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9626

You deserved it

1213

Tweet

Share

By JK2010 - Israel

Today, my crush of over a year came over for me to take her on our first date. Today was also the day my drunk parents decided to dance the chicken dance in our front yard, naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39210

You deserved it

3208

Tweet

Share

By stew - United States

Today, It took me more than 4 hours to set up the back yard for my daughters baby shower. It only took my husband one push of a button to turn on the sprinklers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48942

You deserved it

3842

Tweet

Share

By Violet - Australia

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32172

You deserved it

3373

Tweet

Share

By beforegirl - Australia

Today, I discovered I am the "before picture" in an internet weight loss advert. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47430

You deserved it

8951

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13511

You deserved it

33406

Tweet

Share

By CrappyValentine - Netherlands

Today, I tried convincing my Valentine-hating boyfriend to send me a card, by explaining how important it is to me. He finally agreed and sent me a card. I opened it up, and it wished me 'harmony and well-being on Lupercalia'. What is Lupercalia? It's an ancient Roman festival where men run down the street naked, whipping people with goat skins to encourage fertility. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11324

You deserved it

37766

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

108841

You deserved it

11764

Tweet

Share

By full of losses - United States

Today, the day after my grandfather's funeral, my grandmother informed me I have 30 days to move out. I've been living with them for four years, helping take care of my sick grandfather. She's already changed the locks and won't unlock the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4396

You deserved it

408

Tweet

Share

By dreamteam - United States

Today, I was having a very realistic dream about a hot guy. Just as he was leaning in to ravish me, I was rudely awakened by the sound of my husband farting and snorting at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32308

You deserved it

12352

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, after 20 years together and 9 years of marriage, I found out that my husband has been having an affair with my cousin for 6 years. The same cousin who came over every Friday. Who he wanted to be godmother to our 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3421

You deserved it

201

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42017

You deserved it

5976

Tweet

Share

By SweetStuff88 - United States

Today, my girlfriend admitted to me that she has been sleeping with someone on her girls basketball team, which at first turned me on. Then I found out he's the team manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30432

You deserved it

9593

Tweet

Share

By myheart75 - Australia

Today, my niece told me to go and find my own friends. She's 2, and I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31441

You deserved it

5855

Tweet

Share

By theamericandream - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40257

You deserved it

2867

Tweet

Share

By fmal - United States

Today, I realized my wedding ring was missing. Turns out, my son had taken it to give to a girl he likes in the 2nd grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks

79139

You deserved it

8857

Tweet

Share

By Jen - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36684

You deserved it

2730

Tweet

Share

By J - United Kingdom

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33022

You deserved it

6834

Tweet

Share

By fieldmarshalclitter - United States

Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9951

You deserved it

28384

Tweet

Share

By TheKunitzShow14 - United States

Today, while walking on the sidewalk, someone hit me with their car. They yelled at me for being in their way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37215

You deserved it

3341

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my one-year-old son threw up on the man sitting next to us on a plane. I felt bad and apologized profusely. When I tried to give him money for dry cleaning, he slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26766

You deserved it

3598

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - La Marque

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

I agree, your life sucks

24525

You deserved it

7896

Tweet

Share

By Dopeydancer - United Kingdom

Today, after a few drinks with some mates at a bar, we were invited to the dancefloor with some girls. After some dancing and flirting, I felt a cheeky squeeze on my backside, and so I quickly returned the favour without looking back. A few minutes later at the bar, I realised my wallet was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36114

You deserved it

13000

Tweet

Share

By parisite - France

Today, I decided to get some exercise for the first time in months. I went to the store and bought a brand new bicycle and all the necessary paraphernalia. I drove a half hour to a bike trail, unloaded the bike, and started riding. 10 feet later, the chain snapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29048

You deserved it

4236

Tweet

Share

By Stuck - United States

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9317

You deserved it

67593

Tweet

Share

By what the FUCK - United States - Midlothian

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37993

You deserved it

3220

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By tounces7 | 27

#7949167 - Sunday 1 November 2020 21:17

Lemme guess, you live in America.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7949113 - Sunday 1 November 2020 17:26

Fuck that nurse's life! Am I right?

COMMENTS

By RichardPencil | 28

#7949113 - Sunday 1 November 2020 17:26

Fuck that nurse's life! Am I right?

By tounces7 | 27

#7949167 - Sunday 1 November 2020 21:17

Lemme guess, you live in America.

Reply

Monica Castillo | 11

#7949699 - Wednesday 4 November 2020 3:04

I’d say no- we say operating room and not “theatre”.