The comeback kid
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
I agree, your life sucks
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You deserved it
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I live in the States, and last winter there was a small outbreak of whooping cough near my hometown. I was diagnosed with it as well even though I've been vaccinated. It was awful; I coughed so hard I bruised some ribs...THAT was fun. OP, I hope you feel better soon, hang in there!
HahaYDI
0
Ugh, I can't stop noticing that you are missing a comma after "Today" come on OP, that is the norm...
omg are u ******* kidding me¿¿ forget grammar nazis´ now´we've got punctuation nazi's,,, P,S; i have intentionally mis—punctuated this post just to piss you off, u twat·
Actually a comma is not necessary after "Today". A comma indicates a pause in the reader's reading and should only be used when necessary. FMLs that feature too many commas make for, very slow, reading with, far too many pauses. As you see, it can get, beyond ******* annoying.
YDI for thinking that whooping cough was only confined to England.
That's not the point you ******* retard. I would LOVE to see you have whooping cough, then say you deserved it, which you do for being such a douche. Sorry OP, that really sucks.
19th century English peasant? Don't blame whooping cough for your ratty hair and B.O. and dingleberries! Just because they didn't have running water back then doesn't mean you can't shower in 21st century America (or wipe properly). Thank your moron parents for skipping your DTP vaccine. Get thee to a nunnery!
Damarys
0
hahhaha. that last line from Hamlet makes me laugh. It's actually a double entendre on the word "nunnery" which could also mean "brothel". Hamlet's an asshole that way.
I'm happy you liked it. Wasn't there something about "giving you a groaning" in there, too?
quiet peaseant! thou sickness dost not entertain! Idc that made no sense
octi1026
0
it really sucks... at least you still have a sense of humor ;)
guinness_fml
0
I've been coughing for like a month too. Mine's probably not whooping cough, but it's a sinus infection that survived the first round of antibiotics. Regularly go into coughing fits that get me close to puking. Great fun. Kinda makes taking voice lessons challenging.
What do you mean it can't be treated? They have antibiotics for this to shorten the illness.
doglady
16
Unfortunately, antibiotics do not shorten the duration of cough once you are coughing, but does decrease communicability. The average pertussis patient coughs for about 3-4 weeks.
Grow up and stop whining. I NEVER post things like this because I think people aare way too nasty and judgemental on here...but seriously? A cough? I've had a cough for a month...never once did I think to post a friggin FML about it. FML...I have a cough...like everyone else I work with/go to school with. Take some cough syrup and stfu.
WHOOPING cough. I rest my case.
You have a sickness that will go away in a couple days. How is this an fml? How did this even get on the site?
beckyb
0
A couple of days? No, it can last for weeks. Do some research.
beckyb
0
Oh yeah, and you can also cough so hard you vomit. Yeah. Not fun.
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Sounds like #6 has it. Nearly eradicated in developed nations since the 1970s, whooping cough is apparently on the rise again because modern parents are all sociopaths/brave protectors of precious snowflake. Go, parents!
Or a six month old baby.