Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML
Today, my daughter called for me to come into the bathroom. Turns out the tummy ache she'd been complaining of was actually parasites in her digestive tract. I could swear they were looking at me from the toilet. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I dreamt my fiancé was rolling frozen potatoes onto my bed to wake me up. In reality I woke up screaming to intense cramps in my legs which almost reduced me to tears. I could barely walk for two hours. FML
Today, while in bed, my boyfriend pointed to my stomach and said, "Bad fat", then pointed to my boobs and said, "Good fat." FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I had a stomach bug and had to run to the restroom because I messed my pants. My boyfriend's words of comfort? "Don't worry, bro. I've crapped my pants at least twice since we've been together." FML
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Top comments
snafu57 1
Tell him "I may be fat but you're ugly. I can lose weight. "
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Because it's the worst ones SHE's ever had, you complete moron.
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Comments (79)
thinmint 0
well that's nice. eventually the tapeworm will kill you as well.
niadanac1 3
Well if you do not want your boyfriend calling you a fatty, lose the gut.
Shady_R 0
If you don't want your boyfriend calling you a fatty, lose the boyfriend.
sleephunters 8
If you don't want your boyfriend calling you fatty, kill yourself.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
＃1 Oh, idiot who can't read, he said "SKINNIER". That word implies "more skinny", in other words the chick is ALREADY skinny. I.E., NOT OBESE. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-er#Usage_notes_2 Learn to speak English.
jc21_fml 1
a tapeworm can't bring down a walrus alone, so dont worry you are ok.
JustAReaderOfFml 4
omg i luvvvv the beetles!!!!!!! i was juss listening to hey judeeeeeeeee!!!!!!! eeeeeeee!
latkematzoball 0
i think he was just trying to make u feel better, thinking of a brite sid. he probable thinks oh every girl wants to be skinnier so.... it wasnt the smartest thing to say, lol, but i dont think he meant anything by it
mugglewump 0
Everyone's being pretty mean on this one, I'm loving it.
sublime93 0
lmfao he's so positive
sleephunters 8
You just made my day Shaister lol
snafu57 1
Tell him "I may be fat but you're ugly. I can lose weight. "
Shoppergirrl95 0
Why does everyone immediately assume that the OP is overweight? Just because her boyfriend said that if it was a tapeworm, then she'd become skinnier does not mean that she's fat. And if it does turn out to be a tapeworm, then definitely FYL, OP. Or it could just be her time of month. FYL for that one, too.
Rebecca1993 0
Yeah, really. Lol. Her bf might have just been trying to be nice. And besides, we bloat on our periods, so if she's overweight at all that's probably why >_>
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Considering the meaning of "skinnier" (more skinny), the words actually imply that she IS SKINNY. People saying she's obese are so freaking dumb that they can't even read.
musicislife1995_fml 0
everyones being nasty I like it.