Today, it started pouring while I was in the middle of a pizza delivery. I had to stand out in the rain for ten minutes while an old redneck dude wearing nothing but camo boxers fumbled around for the exact change to pay the bill. I think seeing his junk was supposed to count as my tip. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was delivering pizza in the torrential downpour, I waited 5 minutes in the pouring rain for an old lady to dig 20 bucks out of her purse. Her total was $19.99. She told me to keep the change and make lots of money. FML
Today, I was delivering pizza in the rain. A woman answered the door, saw me soaking wet and said, "Wow this rain is terrible, it must be horrible to be out delivering in it." She then tipped me 21 cents. FML
Today, I was delivering pizzas and hit up a dude’s house who ordered two boxes of extra large. He gave me the exact change. I asked him, “What about the tip?” He paused for a minute, let out this loud rancid fart and said, “There’s your tip bub, now piss off!” and shut the door in my face. FML
Today, I was bitched out by a pizza delivery man. I didn't have the cash to pay him for a pizza I didn't even order. FML
Today, I was walking in rain. I had my hands in my pants pockets, so that the front of the jacket was pointing down. Halfway to Taco Bell, my crotch felt exceptionally wet. I looked down to see a wet spot. The rain on my jacket was channeled to my crotch. FML
Today, at my job as a waiter I sharted myself while taking an order. They tipped me $20 and wrote "for new underwear" on the receipt. FML
Today, I got a $20 tip from an old lady I delivered pizza to. Ecstatic, I walked back to my car where there was a $30 parking fine waiting for me. FML
Today, after a long bike journey through heavy traffic in the pouring rain to deliver a coffee order, the coffee decided to fall out of the bottom of the now soggy paper bag I was carrying and land on the customer's floor. I cleaned it up with paper towels from the toilets. The delivery company didn't pay me. FML
Today, I was waiting for my pizza delivery, which I had foolishly chosen to arrive at 5pm in the middle of rush hour. The pizza was roughly 30 minutes late due to this and I was so happy to get my pizza, I tried to help get the pizza out of the warming bag and somehow caused the delivery guy to drop his smartphone. FML
Today, I was working as a Valet driver. After getting no customers for 5 hours in the pouring rain, a woman driving by stops and asks me for directions. Before leaving, she said, "I should probably tip you for that, since that's probably the only money you'd get all night." She didn't. FML
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Top comments
Thabb 0
You should be honored, to rednecks that's a huge achievement.
Salvikidd 6
did you see his 16 year old wife?
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Comments (97)
Miss_Michaela 10
It's a good tip.
trevishere 7
That would be something I would do to see a reaction.
alexibabyxoxo 0
was it a big tip ?
NastyNinja31 0
Probably the best tip op ever got
seanders 10
You know what the Leper said to the prostitute: "keep the tip"
thelastlucifer 17
thats not entirely true, larry the cable guy in redneck attire is freaking awesome
fanceh 10
were the gods watching over you as you watched his sack swing to and fro?
BillyBongBlast 1
lucifer you are a fuucking idiot. stupid fml
projoe 0
^^^could he Tie it in a not, could he tie it in a bow!?
FarSide 23
Did you spit on his pizza?
Thabb 0
You should be honored, to rednecks that's a huge achievement.
flockz 20
ya to have exact change would be an achievement for anyone, except my prehistoric grandmother.
beaglegun 0
Sterotype
Sae_Ghelk 6
Bush sucks.
charger73 0
rednecks are the best.
hellbilly205 17
Amen brother
iPoopMusic 0
Best what?
partyfool2011 4
Best cherry-colored booze-drinkin' NASCAR-watchin' beer-bellied country music-listenin' funny accented people on earth!
Redneck42 0
Best people in the world
amazinglyHappy 6
damn, he was feeling generous 'eh?
kawaiianime 5
Was he holding a beer?
hellbilly205 17
Way to be stereotypical asshole
kawaiianime 5
I'm sorry dude. :(
ipodlover1995 0
Don't be stupid! Obviously it was a shotgun.
a_nutritionist 10
@32 you should thank him. if the guy wasnt holding a beer then you cant blame the alcohol and the guy really is that retarded. at least this way we assume its his poor choices rather than inability to comprehend the world around him.
AnimeGirl1 10
your username....i like it.
09redbull90 0
I was delivering pizza on a hot humid day and this fat guy reached into his pants and pulled out this wad of cash that was wedged between his leg and nutsack. I grabbed the money with the receipt and held it out the window on the way back to the restaurant. Just deal with it OP.
dreawlkr523 0
safest place in the world to hide his money!
getviolated 5
seriously it sticks so easily right there you never have to worry about it falling
a_nutritionist 10
i hope you took it with a look of disgust and treated him like the piece of shit he is for the rest of the transaction. maybe then he will learn the basics of humanity. but i doubt it.
getviolated 5
53- I bet you watch The View religiously...tell me I'm wrong
a_nutritionist 10
yeah i dont know what that is so i cant tell if its an insult...im just gonna go with, **** off.
partyfool2011 4
With his sister-wife and wielding a shotgun!
KingGeorgeGal 12
Was it wet?
iraq24 2
That's sound slight sexy
eminemchick 19
no
Salvikidd 6
did you see his 16 year old wife?
thegreatbigwhite 2
Who is also his Daughter and sister?
_Adog2645 24
She probably is his cousin
i_wuz_nver_here 31
well if the were camo boxers then how could you see anything? ;)
Monkeyone 0
What a great tip ;)