Scary, Cute and Kids: Spooky

Spooky

By BadgerSpirit - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke my husband up at 2 a.m., screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally said, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four-year-old daughter with her blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 003

You deserved it 44 227

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Same thing different taste

By Zack - 01/04/2012 21:36 - United States - Duncannon

Today, I woke up to shuffling noises coming from downstairs. Suspecting the worst, I jumped out of bed, and whispered over my shoulder for my girlfriend to stay quiet. Only after going downstairs and taking a swing in the dark with my bat did I figure out it was just my girlfriend foraging for snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 756

You deserved it 26 538

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 279

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 23:32 - Ireland

Today, my 4-year-old daughter couldn't sleep, crying that her teddy bear wants to eat her. My husband thought it would be funny to put the bear right in front of her face while she slept. She's now terrified to sleep anywhere but in our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 725

You deserved it 6 580

Yikes

By AAAAAAAAAAAAA - 11/07/2022 07:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I heard a scream that sounded suspiciously like my cat when he's just had a nightmare or is otherwise in a state of extreme distress. I found him chilling on my couch, so I walked back to my room, when I heard the scream again. I ran back and he was still chilling. It was my neighbor's son screaming outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 150

By Anonymous - 12/01/2010 07:45 - United States

Today, around 2:00 a.m. I had just sat down on my couch when I noticed one of my cats poking at what appeared to be a toy. I attempted to pick it up to play with the cat when it started to move like a mouse. I squealed like a girl and woke up my wife upstairs. I'm a 26-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 239

You deserved it 23 792

Prank wars

By Divorcemenow - 17/07/2009 22:02 - United States

Today, I awoke to my husband donning a gorilla mask in the middle of the night. My kids have been staying in a tent out back for the past few nights, and have complained of a "monster" scaring them. I told them that it was their imagination. My husband says he gets a kick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 662

You deserved it 6 976

By Anonymous - 15/12/2012 15:55 - United States - Amsterdam

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 021

You deserved it 2 503

React content

By fmlfmlfml - 02/06/2009 18:03 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap. Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunderstorm. I thought she was one of our cats so I kicked her off. She hit the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 993

You deserved it 252 087

Baby fever

By SkeetinKeaton - 06/05/2013 06:29 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 421

You deserved it 6 568

By lon01t - 07/05/2012 20:43 - United Kingdom - Falkirk

Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 318

You deserved it 2 651

ceddyz17 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:49

a badger? is she that hairy

Awahso 25

Wednesday 27 April 2011 18:53

Wow, self esteem boost for her

Comments

sincerely331 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 9:15

This FML is really NOT funny nor should it be considered as an FML. I feel insulted & that's not even my child. OP, I suggest you adopt your child to better parents, ones that won't confuse her with a badger...

tahvoh 3

Thursday 28 April 2011 9:18

hahaha your husband screamed with you..haha

marissakmnn 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 10:25

And she was just standing/sitting there? Hm...

ackboy24 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 13:13

prolly scared the crap out the kid

rlatpffl86 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 13:25

i don't understand how a badger was the first thing that came to mind, hahaha.

xhk20x 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 14:08

hahaha that is gold! def not an fml, just a hilarious story

pomplemussy 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 14:15

Poor child. But why badger?

sixtwoazn 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 14:21

Wait... your husband started screaming with you? Did he scream like a girl, too?

Cookie4U 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 15:10

Badgers, Badgers, Badgers, Badgers Badgers, Badgers, Badgers, Badgers MUSHROOM!! MUSHROOM!! Badgers, Badgers, Badgers, Badgers Badgers, Badgers, Badgers, Badgers MUSHROOM!! MUSHROOM!!

hwp123 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 1:28



gemzroxya 0

Thursday 28 April 2011 15:37

your kid wont be getting boy trouble later in lifw if shes that hairy, oh unless she meets a yetti or something. goodluck paying for her monthly beard waxing :)