Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML
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Top comments
iluvhobos 5
I'm surprised you didn't get pubes caught in your teeth
dmcp77 1
braces and penis do NOT mix. poor guy.
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Comments (312)
tinvan 3
first of all if u still have braces then ur prolly too young for that type of stuff anyway.
kritz0 10
You're a ******* idiot. Adults can wear braces too. Dumbass.
bigbadtim 7
Way to go Little Miss Lightening Rod.
Kbower09 0
epic
Igor_g5 0
Thank God you didn't try to give him a ********. If you did that much damage just pulling down his underwear with you teeth I shudder to think what would happen.
bryanorange 3
hahaha lmao but then i felt bad for ur boyfruend imagine dat happing dat 2 u i thoughtstill hahaha *** his life
thrAsHeRr9081 16
You are so dumb. Fo' real
IsntThisAwkward 0
because everyone knows, if you have good teeth, then you can have sex. has nothing to do with anything else. just the teeth.
oxAshleAxo 8
hahaha!
IsntThisAwkward 0
the more you say it the more true it is. go for three.
ChrisIsTall22 0
I have braces, and I've been told I was the best they've had. You just have to know what to do. :)
AbusedTampon 6
can we say to effing young to be having sex?
11jackson11 0
Can you say "effing" isn't a word.
SLP9008 0
Wow. You look 10 in your picture and you have braces. I think you are WAYYY too young to be the 'best' someone has had unless you sleep with a lot of guys.
bryanorange 3
jajajaja
gptrash420 0
best they've ever had because they are probably 14 like you, and you're their first. keep your clothes on children!
geminiwings87 0
I agree Petey! I mean some foreskin is tolerable but for the most part, why do you need all that extra skin *shudders* I'm glad my mom got me cut when I was a baby. I don't have to worry about anything. I love it!