Today, my girlfriend came home and spontaneously wanted to have sex for the first time in about a year. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and had just came from an AA meeting. She reeked of alcohol, I couldn't get hard because of it, and she got pissed at me. She says she won't be spontaneous again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had had sex while sober for the first time in years. It was really awkward, bumpy, and I kept on apologizing for being so terrible. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years dumped me because my refusal to go out drinking or get wasted at parties with her makes me "too boring". Thing is, I'm a recovering alcoholic. I'm over one year sober and I don't want to risk relapsing again, yet she expects me to choose between my health and her idea of fun. FML
Today, for the first time in two years, I met my ex-girlfriend. I was drunk. FML
Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML
Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML
Today, my wife of twelve years got drunk and told me the best sex she’s ever had was with her first ex after they broke up. FML
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over, drank half a bottle of Jack Daniels and pissed in my sink. I broke up with her and went out with friends. I met a woman and brought her home to watch a movie. She drank a bottle of wine and puked on my couch. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 3 years. She responded by drinking all the alcohol in sight, falling unconscious and pissing herself. Six hours later, she said that I was too immature and that's why it would never work. FML
Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML
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Top comments
saifnaqvi11 21
If she knows you are a recovering alcoholic and still comes to your house drunk then you need too find someone better then that.
thefaekitten 29
If she knows youre recovering, then shes a bad girlfriend. She shouldnt have been pissed because of that.
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Comments (74)
zarrganaut 17
Well let's hope she doesn't remember it.
JKPwnage 27
Good luck on your recovery, though!
sillygirl247 14
Look I get he is in recovery but dumping her and calling her a bad girlfriend is rediculous. She is still entitled to have fun and get drunk especially since assuming she doesn't have a problem with alcohol like OP. Its not her fault OP has a addiction. She shouldn't have to suffer sobriety because her partner can't control his drinking. If he didn't want her drinking he should have made it clear before they entered a relationship, especially moved in together.
leogachi 15
@62 The FML isn't about her drinking, it's about her getting mad about something he couldn't control. Of course she should still be able to drink. Should she come home wasted and get angry that her recovering bf can't get aroused? No.
momac86 17
Sad story if she's the best thing you could find to date
Scorpio01 16
Tell her It was not spontaneous, she was drunk.
jinkiesscooby 3
That's not your fault OP
zykrithium 22
Drunk does not equal spontaneous...
gunnerblaster 21
Not to say that sex equates to a healthy relationship but when you two aren't even married and you lack a health sex life; I'd suggest looking over your relationship - Carefully.
exum 15
Why didn't you just have shower sex.... Easy....
armando_wey 5
You guys haven't had sex for a year? How is that even possible