Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after several years spent hung up on my ex, I was finally moving on. I was on a date with my new boyfriend when my ex walked past us. He broke down crying, got on his knees, and begged me to come back. FML
Today, my ex was talking about getting back together. I say I’d be willing to talk and ask him to explain what he wants from me, to see if there’s any common ground, but he replied, "I just mention something and you immediately attack me with this emo crap! I already regret even thinking about it!" FML
Today, I spoke to my ex again for the first time after our breakup. The first words out of his mouth were, "I love you, so I'm going to have to confess some things in the hopes that my honesty will help us get back together." It didn't, but it does mean I have to get tested now. FML
Today, I received an "I miss you" text from my ex of 4 months, who I still love dearly and would give anything to get back together with. Yesterday, I slept with his best friend, convinced I'd never hear from my ex again. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend came over. After I'd finished pouring my heart out to him about how much I missed him, and how much I loved him, he looked at me and asked, "So are we gonna do it, or what?" FML
Today, I was chilling with my best friend and suddenly I got a text from my ex saying he wanted me back. My best friend saw the text and said, "Don't go back with him, you deserve better." I wanted to go back with him but I didn't. Later, I saw them hanging out and turns out they're dating. FML
Today, my ex texted me after more than a year of no communication. He wanted to know if I was interested in having a threesome with him and his current fiancée. FML
Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML
Today, after 10 hours of radio silence, my boyfriend of one month, who pursued me for almost a year and spent the last two days at my sister's wedding weekend being introduced to my family, wants to give his ex another chance after sleeping with her during their "talk about their arrangements for their son." FML
Today, my ex asked me if I would reconsider a future with him. I said, “Only if we can learn to communicate effectively." He said, “Good talk, this time you actually got through to me.” Then he ceased all communication. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Exes are exes for a reason
_kyleG_ 34
Unless you're prepared to have an open relationship with this guy, you need to kick him to the curb.
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Comments (92)
RAH94 17
There's a reason he's your ex...
Culito97 10
It's okay OP, he's just sweet charming you to keep you around just in case things don't go well with the other chick.
Goblin182 27
Is that really to much to ask?
Goblin182 27
Its called sarcasm.
Steve95401 49
It's obvious which head he's thinking with.
JazzHandsFML 28
why is this gem down here!
ShadowGenius 12
He just doesn't want to develop a case of "one gina" that's all! In all seriousness, he's a piece of shit by the sounds of it
Niedermayer_20 12
Can't help but laugh.
lovethatstach 18
he honey dicked you just to see if he could. move on.
Cozy_Blanket 16
Ha never heard that phrase before. Sounds gross though!
ToxicTyrael 26
I want this phrase to become viral!
ijimj 11
It isn't a FML, it's **** his life.
musoboy 22
That's the conclusion you drew from this? Date does not mean ****. Date means date. Don't read too far into it.
limabeans101029 21
And? Unless it's an open relationship dealy, if someone says they want to be with you you'd expect them not to date anyone else whether there's sex involved or not.
tranced_ 45
And then there's guys like me who will remain in the friendzone.
ToxicTyrael 26
Maybe you can get a gf if you would stop whining about you being in the friendzone? Worked for me.
Shlalg 15
What, guys who don't see the value of having a female friend if they can't get off with them? The 'friendzone' is really just a fake zone of imagined entitlement.