Today, while at work, a lady with a mustache came in and told me she was lost. I was happy to help, but could not stop rubbing my nose due to allergies. As she left, she said, "I know I have a mustache you little ass" and stormed out. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a guy I like when I was out shopping. We acknowledged each other with a little wave, but as I walked away, I heard him say to his friend, "She's never gonna get me with THAT moustache." FML
Today, I had a lady come up to me in a store just to tell me how bad my acne was and what remedies I should use. I got so embarrassed, all I could say was, "OK" and, "Thank you" until she left me alone. FML
Today, while I was walking along the sidewalk, someone passed by and said, "Tuck that nose in." FML
Today, a customer yelled at me so furiously that she sprayed my face with spittle. I had to stand there, smiling and politely explaining that I needed to see a receipt before I could give her a refund. When she finally gave up and left, my boss bitched me out for "provoking the customer". FML
Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML
Today, I had a toothache and applied some numbing gel to soothe the pain. Too much came out and made my whole mouth numb. A man came into my work, thought I was making fun of his lisp, and stormed out really upset. He later called to complain about me. The boss just called me to his office. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my two friends. My hair was hanging over my upper lip, making it look like I had a big mustache. "Hey, look guys!" I said. "I have a mustache!" "I know," they both said without looking. I'm a girl. FML
Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML
Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said "That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream." FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
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Top comments
taracrane1 7
If she knows she has one why doesn't she wax it?!
woainishamu 21
You should have told her "hold on, i mustache you a question".
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Comments (102)
greenie213 23
That hairy *****!!!
hqbrat 8
Ok I know this is going to be a stupid pun but I mustache you why did you help her in the first place I would have been so shocked 0.0.....see told you it was a stupid pun :/
TheJester12 15
Great, now I look like a copycatting fool........must come up with cheesy puns faster!
Cartera 10
If it was stupid why would you post it?
redmane 21
Right as you said it was going to be stupid I stopped reading.
TheJester12 15
I Moustache you the question , why was she lost? It abeard to me that your store did not put proper signs up so she could brows easily . Goatees your manager for being such an ignorant fool .
midpocket 6
NO ...
Leslier_fml 4
And I have allergies you hairy beast!
haleybrooke1107 4
you stole my picture? classy.
haleybrooke1107 4
using my picture? cute.
firefighterjohn 9
oh well at lease she's not from around there
zuelhater 7
Time to get waxed
skyeyez9 25
If I had a mustache, I would go to the dermatologist to have it removed with a laser. It would never grow back afterwards. Its usually a three week session (come one once or twice a week).
BubbleGrunge 18
Really, OP, you should keep your hands from your face when at all possible at work, it's not sanitary. That said, if I "knew I had a mustache", well I wouldn't for very long!
haleybrooke1107 4
It's not your fault she is insecure, and it probably won't be the last time you have deal with people like that at work.
mercsl65 7
I won't cowtow to other peoples ridiculous sensitivities. nobody gives more of a shit about that ladies moustache than they do the next lady's. its not a fyl, its a f-her-moustache-havin-life! don't be upset that lady is a jerk