Pros and cons

Growing old sucks

Today, I've gotten to that point in life where I can no longer seem to trust a fart. FML

Well shit…

Today, and for the first time in my life, I was unable to trust a fart. FML

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML

Multitasking

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

Relaxed

Today, I was very tense as I sat in the chair for my gyno appointment, so the doctor repeatedly told me to relax, in order for her to do the routine exam. I then overcompensated and relaxed so much, I accidentally farted in her face. FML

Today, I had my first orgasm. I also came to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups for at least half an hour afterwards. FML

Today, I gave myself a hernia while farting. FML

Dinnertime

Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

Classic mistake

Today, I woke up from a dead sleep needing to fart. The second I tried to push it out, I realized it wasn't wasn't fart. FML