Intimacy and Health: Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes - FML

Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 15:00 - United States - Stevenson Ranch

Today, after pranking my roommate several times by putting lube in his hand sanitizer bottle, he got me back by putting sanitizer in my lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 767

You deserved it 12 031

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 18:45 - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 284

You deserved it 79 698

Fight me

By Anonymous - 08/12/2009 06:53 - United States

Today, I gave my sister some Lubriderm for a skin condition we share. While she was applying the lotion I joking said, "Wouldn't it be funny if it made it worse?" Guess who got punched in the face, twice, because it did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 756

You deserved it 25 565

By iailwkrb - 26/02/2009 16:08 - United States

Today, while babysitting, the oldest little girl who is 7 went through my purse. She pulled out a half empty bottle of lube. She asked what it was and I told her lotion. I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the bottle was empty and there were 4 kids covered in lube. Then their mom came home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 895

You deserved it 28 005

By areyoukiddingme - 02/11/2015 05:54 - United States - Marion

Today, my roommate blocked my phone number and won't speak to me. All because I mistakenly used her hand soap, thinking it was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 055

You deserved it 2 176

The runs

By stitchwitch - 18/05/2023 00:06

Today, I found out that my psycho roommate replaced my milk with milk of magnesia. How? By taking a huge gulp. Tonight is going to be fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 75

By Why Me - 15/08/2018 04:00

Today, I borrowed my friend's truck to move. After unloading everything, I worked up a killer appetite and went to a drive thru. I found some Germ X in the truck, so I could eat on the way home... or so I thought. It turned out to be anal lube. I covered my hands in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 885

You deserved it 666

Spooky

By Scaredwitless - 28/01/2011 04:35 - United States

Today, my roommate decided to prank me by leaving a fake suicide note on the bathroom door and lying motionless in a bathtub full of water and red coloring. When I went, horrified, to take a closer look, he lunged at me and screamed. I was so scared I pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 901

You deserved it 6 012

Hand sanitizer

By sexlube - 01/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, my kid told my wife he's been using the hand sanitizer under our bathroom sink. It's not hand sanitizer, it's a giant bottle of lube.

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 922

By Anonymous - 27/04/2019 04:00

Today, my moron of a teenager drank lube to lubricate his throat during a coughing fit, thinking it would take away the itchiness in his throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 209

You deserved it 383

By anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:27

Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 356

You deserved it 3 173

Next

Top comments

lilchica22001 22

Friday 10 February 2017 0:58

Ouch! I bet that burnt your pee pee hole. What did we learn? Hmmm? lol

AYoungMexicanLad 8

Friday 10 February 2017 0:00

YDI.

Comments

jcash52426 5

Friday 10 February 2017 3:25

I bet that burned!

BurnInDemonFire 33

Friday 10 February 2017 3:32

That's what you get for being a total penis.

runswithlions 3

Friday 10 February 2017 5:14

YOU DESERVE IT. I pressed the YDI button and commenting you deserve it only because I can't pressed the button more than once to justify how much you do :)

AngelusLeonhart 3

Friday 10 February 2017 5:22

Absolutely barbaric

CountZiggenpuss 7

Friday 10 February 2017 5:32

Be happy it was just sanitizer. I would have put sand in your lube.

diisneygirl 2

Friday 10 February 2017 6:33

Yep. You deserved that one lol.

acmariner99 25

Friday 10 February 2017 17:11

Just be glad it wasn't habanero oil. You totally deserved it.

ElusiveMee 6

Friday 10 February 2017 23:17

Ok folks. I agreed with the YDI. But you can't compare slippery hands to what equates to burning lava on his and her bits. It's just not an equal payback. FML

helloimkylieee 19

Saturday 11 February 2017 2:45

I really hope the girl he was gonna use it with didn't get it in or on her... that would be so painful, and she's innocent! Dx

notatfault 8

Saturday 11 February 2017 1:09

Lesson learned. At least it wasn't pppers or chili sauce.

StoneColdShaky 7

Saturday 11 February 2017 2:30

That's.... just.... awesome....

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I found out my dentist is retiring. This wouldn't be that big of a deal except that if we want to transfer our dental records to a new dentist we have to do it before he retires and there's a $30 processing fee per person. Three of us use that dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 76

Today, after spending at least two hours on the phone every day for the past week, my health insurer I pay a huge monthly premium to agreed to cover my life-sustaining insulin. But they won't contribute to the cost until after I've paid an unaffordable deductible first. I'm going to die even though I'm insured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 76

The Top

Today, I sat in the cafeteria at work and saw a girl, which is a rare sight at my workplace, from the back with a beautifully long ponytail. After a full hour of building up courage to perhaps say hi to her, she turned around. It was a 50-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 031

You deserved it 32 169

Today I noticed a large crack in my windscreen. 2 weeks after getting it replaced. The warranty doesn't cover cracks. Several attempts were needed to replace it last time for reasons like losing the new windscreen and telling me they can't make it that day and turning up any way after going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 013

You deserved it 173

Today, I found out I could not go to the Philippines because I have never had Chicken Pox. The school took the radical decision to prohibit students who have never had Chicken Pox to leave the college. I am condemned to stay in Hong Kong in some shitty project because I am a healthy young man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 087

You deserved it 4 462

Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 124

Today, in a market, an old lady stood beside me for a few moments, not saying a word, before turning to me and screaming that I'd taken the money out of her purse. Security was called and I was given the ultimatum to either go to jail or give her the money back. Now I have no food for next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 117

Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 923

You deserved it 1 546