Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. They wanted me to stand underneath this big bucket filled with water. I didn't know it tips over, and my swimsuit isn't the tightest, so when all the water fell down, my swimsuit bottoms fell to my knees in front of tons of kids. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML
Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML
Today, I was driving when I saw someone pulled over on the side of the road. Wanting to help, I pulled over. In so doing, I ran over something that popped my tire. The guy had just pulled over to pee. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud, or that I wasn't alone. FML
Today, my mother told my boyfriend a cute story about me when I was little. The one where my cousin and I were caught pooping in a urinal in the church basement. FML
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Top comments
sweet_candy_ 17
Hahaha the weirdest stuff happen in public bathrooms.
yayforcheesecake 0
you were inside a toilet?
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Comments (95)
ImaMonsterRawr 0
you were in the toilet?! o_O
mightymart 5
I would really like an explanation from one of the 44 morons who somehow thinks that this is op's fault..
imtheheppest 0
Personally, I'm tired of all the comments poking fun at the OP saying he was in the toilet. That joke was funny the first time it was said. What I don't get is why he called the stall a cubicle. It makes it sound like he has a toilet in his office cubicle..till you get to the end of the FML, that is. Do they not have urinals were you're from, OP?
Bobissmall 13
This. In the UK "In the toilet" is a perfectly normal expression... looks like it's Americans not understanding other people speak differently... well thanks for being one American who isn't ignorant as ****, but still, in the UK we call it a cubicle not a stall... new zealand is probably using British English... I mean seriously, does anyone outside of America use American English?
BloodyHeel 8
All these commenters are pissing me right off. Yes, cubicle is another name for a stall in Australia/New Zealand. Yes, we say toilet rather than bathroom. Is there always a bath in the room your toilet is in? NO. So use your common sense for God's sake.
5t3ff1k4h 45
50 - What about "washroom"? There's usually a sink in that particular room, to... you know.. wash.
yankee15 0
that's just hilarious
VeraJK 16
You were IN the toilet?
bob90079 0
Your not suppose to go IN a toilet your suppose to sit on it.
whitedeath15 0
toilets are in stalls not cubicles cubicles are in office buildings and people work in them. and you were in the toilet?
Kaneila0517 0
omg guys British English is different than American English so I'm sure that over there it's not called a stall.
cptmorgan15 2
Enough with the "You were IN the toilet?" comments. How many people need to say this before all you idiots realise it has been said already.... many times.
ErinKidCannibal_fml 0
I'm just trying to figure out why you were IN a toilet.