Sex, Relatable and Neighbours: Performance - FML

Performance

By Anonymous - 14/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my new neighbours' favourite sexual position is apparently for him to screw her up against the wall while she talks dirty. How do I know this? That wall backs right onto the headboard of my bed, and in this rented space my bedroom is too small for the bed to go anywhere else. I know, I've tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 109

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Same thing different taste

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 318

You deserved it 840

YELP!

By Anonymous - 19/04/2022 12:00 - United States - Brookline

Today, my new neighbours moved in. I had always thought my bedroom wall was soundproof, because my old neighbours never complained about my loud night terrors. Turns out they were just stone deaf. The new ones can hear everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 137

By SleeplessInSoCal - 09/08/2010 06:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 088

You deserved it 3 304

Mr Rogers

By Anonymous - 29/11/2023 05:00

Spicy

Today, I met my upstairs neighbours in person. They had been having vigorous sex and all of a sudden I heard a loud, “OH SHIT” and they both fell through the ceiling and ended up on top of me on my sofa, covered in plaster and dust, and stark naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 151

By Cantunsee - 26/08/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I found out just how close my boyfriend has been getting to our new neighbour's teenage son. I came home from work to find them on my bed and my "straight" boyfriend head down ass up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 155

You deserved it 435

Vicariously

By Cate - 05/11/2009 10:25 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I've had no sleep. Why? Because my housemate has a new girlfriend and the walls are too thin. After round three of them shagging, I was exhausted from holding my breath each time the new girlfriend screamed. I also realised that was the closest I'd been to sex in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 571

You deserved it 3 411

Get it on, bang a gong

By can’t sleep - 17/06/2020 17:04

Spicy

Today, and for the fourth time in a week, my 60-year-old neighbors have woken me up by having obnoxiously loud sex. Complete with over the top moaning and the headboard smashing against our shared wall. When I asked them nicely to quiet down, they laughed and called me jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 027

You deserved it 366

Hi there!

By curtain buyer - 09/03/2015 01:05 - United States - Albany

Spicy

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 056

You deserved it 3 708

Sort yourselves out

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 98

By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Spicy

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 182

You deserved it 3 160

Next

Top comments

Nikki 17

Thursday 14 March 2024 23:14

Join in the dirty talk, they’ll probably find another wall pretty quickly

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Thursday 14 March 2024 23:19

Record it and play it back for everyone to enjoy.

Comments

Nikki 17

Thursday 14 March 2024 23:14

Join in the dirty talk, they’ll probably find another wall pretty quickly

bigredmonkeybutt 28

Thursday 14 March 2024 23:19

Record it and play it back for everyone to enjoy.

Tee Wallisaurusrex 13

Friday 15 March 2024 8:57

lol, just start joining in on the dirty talk. more than likely they'll choose another wall.

angeleyes0724 10

Friday 15 March 2024 12:28

When you hear her get close scream FINISH HER. It worked for me and I made new friends 🤷‍♀️🤣

Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 491

You deserved it 3 817

The Top

Today, my family and I went on a picnic in the park 45 minutes drive away from our house. I fell asleep beneath a tree. They left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 863

You deserved it 3 836

Today, my endometriosis has reached stage 4 and has spread to many organs, including my colon. My constipation got so bad that my Apple Watch told me it was time to stand up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 893

You deserved it 107

Today, I found out that my "friends" only invite me to their parties when they need a designated driver. Apparently I'm "not fun" because I don't drink, which "ruins the party". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 413

You deserved it 2 668

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 743

You deserved it 1 667

Today, I learned that I'm allergic to hornets. I also learned that when your mom sprays a hornets' nest, and they come after you, that jumping in the pool doesn't help. They hover and wait for you to surface. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 995

You deserved it 3 592

Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 892

You deserved it 5 871