Today, I had to deal with a snobby rich woman who asked me to cure her daughter's "unhealthy obsession" with playing outside instead of watching TV with the rest of the family. She called me a liar when I said playing outside is a normal thing for a 6 year-old child to do. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom got mad at me. She told me that the neighbor was stupid for letting their kids play all over the street alone. I said it was fine, because the mom walked right next to the daughter as she played on her scooter. She argued, “Why do you always have to disagree with me?” FML
Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML
Today, I was babysitting a kid for the first time. She asked if she could watch a movie, so I downloaded Cinderella for her. An hour later, this 10-year-old girl was lecturing me about unrealistic standards of beauty and abusive relationships, and how I suck for liking the movie. FML
Today, I tried to nicely talk to my daughter about her rapid weight gain. Having a family history of weight-related illness, I felt it was necessary. I offered to get thyroid tests, teach her to buy healthy food, and start routine exercise. She told everyone I called her a cow and had fat-shamed her. FML
Today, my 4-year-old daughter asked me when I was going to be skinny like her daycare lady. FML
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
Today, I mowed our lawn without being asked. My sister wouldn't stop yelling at me for not checking with her, because she wanted the grass to get long enough to "play jungle" in. My mom sided with her. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter has been making up horrible lies about her home life to impress some new friends. Since when is having two highly involved, loving parents with good careers and a nice home an embarrassment? FML
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "Shit!", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother." FML
Today, my daughter is still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
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Top comments
mrsmikelowrey 15
There are no words.
Tripartita 45
How heavily have you considered the possibility that you went to sleep on earth' one night and woke up on earth" the following morning. I checked your location, and maybe an anonymous proxy is the only way to get FMLs from the bizarro dimension back to here. In any case, I wish you a safe return home, OP.
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Comments (37)
interesting33 37
Is her daughter's name Matilda?
Jonfun 14
Playing outdoors is the best unhealthy obsession ever! Next thing she's tell her daughter to do is stop talking to her imaginary friend too.
shinikageWolf 15
"Maybe she got the crazy idea to play outside from all those commercials of kids playing outside? Oh the horror"
kishmobile444 16
smh, I'd call cps on that family. if that's an issue, what else is she making them do that isn't healthy? you never know these days! people are crazy.
lia4005 17
Sounds like something from the movie Matilda
maserle 8
dont even have words for this one...