Today, at work, I jumped under my desk in fear of a nuclear missile attack when the firestation next us let out its new awareness siren. I think I'm going insane. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I left my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML
Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you'll be labeled as someone with a short temper. However, the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML
Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML
Today, I came back to work after being out for a week. As I walked to the back of the store, I threw my hands up and yelled, "I'm back bitches". Right after I said it, I noticed my boss was behind me. I was then taken to the office and wrote up for foul language on my first day back. FML
Today, I found out that mishearing my boss and laughing at what I thought he said can make him think I'm high and nearly force me to submit to a drug test. FML
Today, I was told it was inconvenient for me to take lunch breaks, because someone else has to answer the phones and no one else wants to actually do any work. FML
Today, I was cold and alone at work, so I decided to try and warm myself up on the panini toaster. As I was holding the top side open and my other hand over the hot metal, I accidentally closed the door on my hand. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I took my printer to work because the one in my office is broken. When I tried to leave, my boss stopped me and accused me of stealing it from the office. Nobody would believe me when I explained. Now my boss has a new printer. FML
Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML
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Top comments
chris274 8
Would that even help against a nuclear strike?
PlaiPie 11
Well, when there is a real nuclear attack, you'll have the practice of diving under desks already mastered. And you'll be laughing at all your co-workers with your superior desking skills
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Comments (97)
iTzMiSsTeA 9
I feel your pain..I just didnt know if the world was going to end on China's time or America's..!
iTzMiSsTeA 9
I feel your pain..I just didnt know if the world was going to end on China's time or America's..!
iTzMiSsTeA 9
I feel your pain..I just didnt know if the world was going to end on China's time or America's..!
kthxbie 10
Maybe Americans have a lot to fear.
fyrfyter 4
Duck & Cover! Works every time!
gemmadaws 3
Next time jump out the window
Sacramento_guy 1
I got a business degree to open a shop to trade schematics. I want to see the airplanes fall, because I'm an American. Hide under your desk, I'm scared too. It's hard to fix a reel to reel machine. Ahhhh, scarey scarey. Fml.
v8nick97 11
You do know the Cold War ended in 1989, right?
xopher425 19
I grew up as a military brat; living in Europe I had to go through those air raid drills where we had to duck under our desks (like that would protect us from a nuke or conventional attack). I'm almost 40 and this sirens STILL make me freak out.
shannon2348 14
Do you really think that hiding under your desk during a nuclear attack is going to save you? That's ridiculous. Get a friggin grip. ydi