Kids: One happy family

One happy family

By Anonymous - 15/07/2012 19:09 - United States - Littleton

Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 518

You deserved it 3 520

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By eww - 13/06/2012 06:13 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 898

You deserved it 2 612

Don't mention it

By PoorGramps - 09/12/2009 07:39 - United States

Today, my greatgrandpa came over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, he pooped himself. My family went through the rest of the meal acting like we hadn't noticed to avoid embarassment. As it was coming to an end, my sister came home and immediately yelled, "Ew! Did someone poop?" He cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 490

You deserved it 3 156

Pissed

By TJ. - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - India

Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 694

You deserved it 3 082

By girlmeetsworld - 18/02/2009 23:27 - United States

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 149

You deserved it 13 665

By sillymink - 20/08/2016 02:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 752

You deserved it 2 424

By NaKreen - 30/07/2012 22:21 - Sweden - Bor

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 141

You deserved it 32 075

By Monroe - 23/06/2011 22:30 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my cousin when I realized my aunt didn't tell me where the diapers were. I searched the entire house, but I had no luck. Then my cousin ripped off the diaper she was wearing and peed on the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 346

You deserved it 4 250

By MisterBrown - 15/02/2010 07:08 - United States

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 791

You deserved it 3 362

Share, not scare

By Anonymous - 18/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, during a family dinner, my uncle asked if anyone had any embarrassing stories. Feeling brave, I told them about my recent breakup. As I was getting to the juicy details, my 11-year-old cousin piped up, saying, “You’re talking about the time you ate pizza naked, right?” My face was instantly beet red. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 208

By pissed off - 17/05/2014 00:33 - United States - Brentwood

Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 719

You deserved it 14 976

ali671 1

Monday 16 July 2012 2:12

Don't be such a tight ass about it

coolbrony12 3

Monday 16 July 2012 2:13

Hm. Shocking.

Comments

shawnaishere 14

Monday 16 July 2012 2:22

It amazes me how many experiments go on in the bathroom instead of the lab

DUBSTEP_WUB_WUB 1

Monday 16 July 2012 2:23

Ouch! 1- that's what he said

kcpkid 0

Monday 16 July 2012 2:23

How did he find the bug zapper in the first place?

Flora_fml 6

Monday 16 July 2012 2:25

This is the most tragic thing I've ever read, and I even read about the execution of the Romanovs earlier today.

perdix 29

Monday 16 July 2012 2:25

Looks like your gene pool could use a lot more chlorine.

itsame0987 18

Monday 16 July 2012 9:10

Your comment makes me wish there was an "add to favorites" button for comments.

rjalda100 18

Monday 16 July 2012 2:26

Wow how did he manage to do that?

Roskosity 22

Monday 16 July 2012 2:35

Maybe he'll get a super power!

SystemofaBlink41 27

Monday 16 July 2012 2:35

So the FML here is that you're related to him. Clever stuff, clever stuff....

cristy91 33

Monday 16 July 2012 2:40

Everyone has that idiot family member. So long as he doesn't try putting your dick in the bug zapper, don't worry about it, just take satisfaction in watching him suffer the consequences.