Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire PowerPoint based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss watched me get my waistband hooked on a safety hazard in the warehouse. She included it in the safety report. FML
Today, my foreman complained that I was slowing down productivity and costing the company money, all because I was wearing a harness to protect me from falling over the edge of a three story building. FML
Today, my class had a very important meeting about workplace safety. I thought I led some of my classmates to the meeting very well, until they informed me that I accidentally ran a red light on the way there. They brought this infraction up during the class every chance they got. FML
Today, at work, I accidentally walked into a meeting at which the whole company was there but me. The meeting was about how they could legally fire me while paying as little severance as possible. I'm the CEO and the founder of the company. FML
Today, my boss made me give a presentation to several senior company officials about the serious financial losses our division has made this year. Barely an hour later, my boss had palmed all the blame off onto me and gotten me fired. FML
Today, my boss sent me a Word document that he wanted me to make into a PowerPoint presentation for him. It was a set of proposals for the board of directors about cost-saving options. The third option was to eliminate my position in the company. FML
Today, I was conducting a meeting regarding safety concerns on my field site. While I made a comment, a client rep yelled out that women don't know construction, and that I should be acting like a proper secretary and should get my boss. I'm the Construction Manager. FML
Today, we can finally order badly needed safety gear for my crew. My boss flipped his shit, demanding that I "stop bringing it up, it's annoying" for doing my damndest to keep up with industry standards. I was brought to tears for literally doing my job, with no "peers" to back me, since I'm an HR department of one. FML
Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me to tip over and smash my head into a wall. If that wasn't enough damage, my boss keeps replaying the security footage to everyone I work with. My head hurts not from the fall, but the loud laughter that keeps coming from inside the office. FML
Today, I nearly lost a hand at work, because a supervisor decided to remove a 'useless' safety guard on a machine despite my warnings. He doesn't understand why I'm so upset with him. FML
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Top comments
gc327072 31
Genius! We could solve all world problems this way! Poverty in Africa: Stop being poor! Terrorism: Stop being violent! Brilliant stuff, OP. This shit's gonna change the world. Hope you took notes!
onealmxwilson 18
I can only imagine that a lot of accidents have happened for them to have a presentation about it. Sounds like unsafe working conditions.
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Comments (60)
gc327072 31
Genius! We could solve all world problems this way! Poverty in Africa: Stop being poor! Terrorism: Stop being violent! Brilliant stuff, OP. This shit's gonna change the world. Hope you took notes!
bolinar 10
Can I get a copy of this PowerPoint? We can retool it and give it to Congress... How to avoid a government shutdown.... Work together!
Shmatterhorn 38
I hope that OP was wearing safety gloves while taking those notes. Paper cuts can be nasty and painful.
tonjean1 5
Does everything have to revolve around the government shutdown!? As a disabled veteran, I am very aware of the impact. I would surely hope that the rest of America is aware. Honestly, everyone needs to quit commenting about it, and DO something about it. Ugh! Absolutely irritating!
andrew6p 19
Wow, like as if one would hurt himself on purpose. Anw op, good luck!
brianax36 14
Someone I used to work with got hurt on purpose to try and sue the company... There's people who do that.
AFailedWorld 3
its not that you choose to hurt yourself, but that you choose not to prevent yourself from getting hurt by not following safety guidelines. Got something in your eye? why no safety glasses? cut your hand? why no safety gloves. fell off something high? why no harness? You get my point I think.
andrew6p 19
Yeah i did get your point, but still this is something uncontrollable. I mean i knew a person who died while working because the machine he was using had a technical problem and electrocuted him until he turned into a crisp!
AFailedWorld 3
Yeah. Real accidents do occur, but the ratio of preventable to unpreventable is just crazy. and the companies get charged for it. I'm sure it wasn't just one slide that said "you're costing us money!" but that is the general message usually. Unfortunate but true.
crushedone 7
At least it wasn't a meeting with Sexual Harassment Panda.
rs89 20
Wait... What?
molzipan 16
Sexual harassment makes me a sad, sad panda.
Silvinomiae 20
Obviously your feelings not taken into the cost-benefit account. If you tell me where it hurts OP, I can help you by blowing on them.
bohler 2
so what?
OzzMonster 10
Altum videtur
Sal_G_63 5
English, ************! Do you speak it?
DocBastard 40
That's fascinating Latin, but I fail to see how it applies here.
jamesman5995 4
Stick it to the man and get hurt as much as you can
gracehi 33
In the military, they call that "malingering."
blackonblight 33
They also used to call shell-shock/PTSD 'malingering' so ymmv on that one.
gracehi 33
People are sometimes wrongly accused of malingering, and it can be difficult to identify, however faking illness or injury or deliberately inuring yourself in order to avoid performing your duties (because in the military, service members get paid even if they physically can't work) is the definition of malingering. You can even get in trouble for injuring yourself by accident because you did something so stupid injury was inevitable. I overheard one of my superiors saying that a guy who broke his hand punching one of those punching bag arcade games could be reprimanded for being such a muscle-headed dolt that he followed through and landed his fist on the hard body of the machine behind the punching bag.
gracehi 33
Yeah, I try to discourage my subordinates from getting decapitated by a helicopter rotor. There's so much paperwork to fill out when it happens. It's such a hassle.
Aussieinusa 5
Did you show a cheesy video on what happens when you get close to rotor blades? If so, I want to watch! I hope it's as good as the forklift training videos
gracehi 33
Nah. Producing a video would be too expensive. It's much cheaper to wrangle a live seagull and toss it up into a spinning rotor whenever we get new guys. I'd be glad to demonstrate though. Bring a bucket and you'll have instant seagull soup.
Aussieinusa 5
I'll bring bring some vegetables too, gotta have those vitamins
perdix 31
They should have mentioned that your bloodstains don't go with the corporate color scheme, and that you're screaming and groaning just harshes everyone's mellow.
gracehi 33
Yeah, I try to discourage my subordinates from getting decapitated by a helicopter rotor. There's so much paperwork to fill out when it happens. It's such a hassle.