Today, on my rush to get home from work to use the bathroom, I hit a deer. It startled me so badly that I wet myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after being on vacation for a week, my alarm sounded early in the morning. It scared me so badly I peed myself. FML
Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shat myself. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom when the automatic toilet flushed prematurely. The sudden gush of water startled me so much that I jumped up and slipped, hitting my head on the stall door. A concerned stranger had to help me up. FML
Today, I got the strong urge to pee right as I got home from work. In my hurry to get inside, I grabbed my keys out of my pocket. They flew out of my hand, into the bushes. I couldn't find them in time and ended up wetting myself in my driveway, three minutes before I had to pick my daughter up from school. FML
Today, I bought a new car. Twenty-five minutes into driving it home, I hit a deer. FML
Today, an adorable deer got into the yard, so I went to pet it. It jumped on its back legs and started flailing its front legs around, kicking the crap out of me until I curled into a ball crying. I'm so bruised, I can barely sit down. FML
Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the brakes, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML
Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML
Today, I was at work and I needed to pee. In my haste, I forgot to lock the door. A coworker walked in on me and I bolted up mid-stream to slam the door back shut. I had pee down my leg and pee squishing in my shoes for the rest of the day. I can still remember his tone of voice, yelling, "Sorry"! FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
stevenJB 25
I can't tell much you grow to hate deer coming from growing up in a densly deer populated area. I've hit a few myself and they'll do more damage to the car than you do them half the time. let's be glad you wet yourself rather than waking up dead or inside an ambulance. it could've been worse believe me.
JaffaMC 13
F the deer's life, I'd say... "Today, I really had to use the bathroom, so I quickly tried to cross the road. A human hit me with their car. FML"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (20)
meggieeeeee92 16
But why didn't you just use the bathroom before leaving work? You would have avoided rushing home and hitting the poor deer.
AppleMango 8
Poor deer :( I remember reading somewhere that apparently wetting yourself is common in car accidents because your seat belt pushes on your bladder, so maybe this and also you no longer concentrating on not peeing contributed. I agree with the other comments saying that it's good that you just peed yourself since much worse things could have happened too. Try and focus on the positive and I hope everything turns out okay :)
ber4fun 23
If you really have to go that bad, why not just stop somewhere along the way? Any shop or restaurant is better than wrecking your vehicle and taking an animals life all in one go.
middlenamefrank 8
Well, problem solved...although not so much for the deer. Is there some reason you didn't go before leaving work?
Ryanhay16 14
Did you keep the deer?