Love: Not mine!

Not mine!

By Anonymous - 21/12/2019 18:00

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 723

You deserved it 247

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Same thing different taste

By Brian - 23/12/2009 02:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday. Too bad my birthday isn't for 5 months. She mixed up my birthday with the guy she's been cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 170

You deserved it 2 471

Great gift idea!

By Anonymous - 15/09/2020 08:02 - New Zealand

Today, it was my birthday and my first present was finding out that my girlfriend of five years has been cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 644

You deserved it 120

By holla1787 - 04/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 561

You deserved it 2 823

By A. nonymous - 14/12/2010 13:32

Today, my girlfriend made a delicious birthday breakfast, and she said there would be a surprise at the end. Today is not my birthday, it's her ex's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 992

You deserved it 3 029

By jake - 07/02/2010 18:56 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I forgot it was her birthday. We had only been dating for 2 weeks. I didn't even know when it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 203

You deserved it 8 236

By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 14:31 - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I was excited because of all the wall posts I got on Facebook. Then I saw I got a "Happy Birthday" from the girl my boyfriend cheated on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 961

You deserved it 7 500

By brycepetrillo - 07/09/2013 16:08 - United States - New Port Richey

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me through my birthday card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 200

You deserved it 3 974

By Anonymous - 22/07/2013 08:47 - United Kingdom - Bury

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 973

You deserved it 30 310

By Anonymous - 08/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Chagrin Falls

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "Happy Birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 389

You deserved it 4 278

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 14:00

Today, my girlfriend told me she’s visiting her male friend for her birthday. I told her I’m fine with it, but I'm really not. She’s going to spend a few days with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 958

timinator5000 28

Saturday 21 December 2019 20:09

Try to get birthday sex anyways

tounces7 27

Sunday 22 December 2019 5:58

And the STD he gets will be like 2 gifts in 1.

Comments

timinator5000 28

Saturday 21 December 2019 20:09

Try to get birthday sex anyways

tounces7 27

Sunday 22 December 2019 5:58

And the STD he gets will be like 2 gifts in 1.

Iamthebanzai22 21

Monday 23 December 2019 6:12

So you know she is cheating but you don't have the balls to break up?

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The Top

Today, I got a call from my very drunk boyfriend at 1:30am asking for my permission to have sex with a "gross fat chick" he met at a pub, because he "felt sorry for her." The conversation ended with me getting hung up on, because I "don't have a heart." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 488

You deserved it 5 350

Today, I went parasailing for the first time ever. My friends thought it would be funny to pull down my trunks right before my feet left the boat. I dangled there in the air for the whole resort to see. On top of that, I lost my shorts in the ocean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 847

You deserved it 3 477

The Top

Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 916

You deserved it 32 478

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 353

You deserved it 12 950

Today, my brother spent the whole day making a harpoon out of an old Tiki torch to bring on vacation with us to Sauble Beach, and he plans on using this contraption. On the beach. With all of us there to watch. He's 17 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 219

Poor little guy... Eating healthy is hard!

I agree, your life sucks 283

You deserved it 94

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 964

You deserved it 2 215

Today, I found some charges on my credit card for two round trip tickets to Las Vegas. Turns out my daughter and her stoner, unemployed boyfriend stole my credit card and flew to Vegas over the weekend to get married. I paid for my daughter's elopement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 028

You deserved it 4 358

Not mine!

Same thing different taste

Great gift idea!

Kinda sus

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