Alcohol, Addiction and Kids: Mommy's little helper

Mommy's little helper

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Oakland

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 725

You deserved it 38 988

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Sneaky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Owen Sound

Today, I caught my dad sneaking a drink of whiskey outside, shortly before my wedding. I asked if he was seriously getting drunk at a time like this. He looked at me and scoffed, "It's the only way I'm gonna get through this stupid shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 996

You deserved it 5 048

Neil Diamond was wrong

By LucyLollipop - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I had my first glass of red wine after months of pregnancy and giving birth. Just as I sat down and started to relax, I spilled it all over myself and my in-law’s couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 255

You deserved it 929

Use the force

By BlueMacaw - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Elsinore

Today, I accidentally threw a glass of iced tea in my own face, because the restaurant I'd been going to for over a decade switched from heavy glass mugs to identical light-as-a-feather plastic mugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 432

You deserved it 4 678

He's got game

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I horribly lost a game of basketball against my dad. It wouldn't have been so humiliating if he hadn't been piss drunk at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 583

You deserved it 6 169

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Gorey

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 977

You deserved it 46 582

This is a low

By Stella - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I chipped my tooth on a beer bottle. While I was drinking alone in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 354

You deserved it 28 771

Slippery when wet

By blewidstepr - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I realized that my 3 year-old son, who is being potty trained, has better aim standing up to pee than his 30 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 6 519

By The Towel Molester - 26/01/2012 14:49 - Australia

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 412

You deserved it 3 291

By bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 979

You deserved it 136 247

marulicko 19

Tuesday 17 February 2015 10:08

Ok, definitely time to get help...

ruckfules85 34

Tuesday 17 February 2015 10:11

Really good you caught your mistake instead of giving it to her.

Comments

laden_swallow09 34

Tuesday 17 February 2015 15:31

The fact that there are so many seemingly innocent euphemisms for liquor: juice, sauce, medicine, etc.

superwhovian 16

Tuesday 17 February 2015 15:52

At least you recognize you have a problem

forgetaboutitt 5

Tuesday 17 February 2015 16:15

it's time to get help if not for yourself then for your daughter!

Meerhol 10

Tuesday 17 February 2015 16:15

And the worst mom of the year award goes to...

thatcoolguy123 14

Tuesday 17 February 2015 17:31

Wow... just... please get help. Now. Before it's too late

pharm121 21

Tuesday 17 February 2015 17:37

Your child needs to be taken away from you until you can get yourself help.

liza1922 7

Tuesday 17 February 2015 18:11

I hope you get the help you need

jazalea8 16

Tuesday 17 February 2015 18:13

At least you are now aware of it. Now what are you going to do? For those of you saying she should have her child taken away, how many decisions have you made that should make you get yours taken away? Maybe the father is "fit" and is married to her. She is admitting she has a problem and recognizes it. Maybe this is what she needed to fix her problem.