By The Towel Molester - 26/01/2012 14:49 - Australia

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML
I agree, your life sucks 28 360
You deserved it 3 271

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the fuck is wrong with your mom....

How does one go about "molesting towels?"

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the fuck is wrong with your mom....

She is the Towel Whisperer. They talk to her, telling her that he rapes them. But in a serious note. FYL. Big time.

So did you give your towels the Morning After pill? If not YDI

Agreed. Nothing worse than raising a half human-towel hybrid species.

This FML reminds me of 'Towely' from south park XD

People say weird things when they are drunk

Keep your clean up rags hidden at all times

Well, if you think about it this way, shes probably the one who has to wash them.

Those poor towels.

Even when drunk she has such a beautiful vocabulary, bravo.

Hide your cloths Hide your rags!

A bottle of wine is wrong with her, with a dash of bipolar.

One of these days one of those towels is gonna get high, and wander off. He shall be the most absorbent of all towels, pestering everyone to "use" him like his creator. Once the military catches wind though, they will want it for their own. As WMD if you will. They will steal your Xbox and demand you hand over the towel, but when you do... It's a trap! They don't have your Xbox, some foreign spies have it. They will send you to their base with a decoy towel, and once you hand it over to them, they will tell you the military lied and they have your Xbox! Then you'll be forced to become a double agent. Then when no one suspects a thing you will take the super absorbent towel back to the spies and get your baby back. Have fun being a towel-baby daddy!

77 - And also your washcloth cuh dey 'lesting everbody out heah.

Oh man that sucks. Hopefully they won't judge you too harshly after that comment. Good luck op

Maybe op does molest towels and just leaves them in a dark room to grow mold. Maybe the mother who has to wash the towels is the victim here, after all bring drunk brings out the truth...

I'd say it's time you a) get a lock on your bedroom door, and b) start doing your own laundry! (Actually, I'd say it's well beyond time...)

Anyone else notice OP's name....?

U r my new bffl lol i love Harry Potter!!!!!!

Man even towelie wouldn't want to be your towel. If its true. If not then sorry for the harsh mom OP and hopefully it doesn't affect your relationship.

How does one go about "molesting towels?"

The same way a guy 'molests' a sock, I suppose

Come on, nothing wrong with a little one on one time with a towel!

I always love ur comments Alan thumb up for Alan

If OP gets the girl, towels are saved...

27, you realize you can't thumb up Alan?

No...but leaving his mess laying there for days is nasty. I would not want to be his wife having to pick up after such a messy person. If he leaves "molested towels" laying around, he probably also leaves messes laying all over the place and doesn't pick up after himself.

27 you are a kiss ass

What the hell does she think you do to your towels, OP? What atrocities are you supposedly committing in your allegedly evil den?

Well actually it's not evil, just mildly unkind and a tad crotchety, the mother was just exaggerating for emphasis

hah love op's user name

Hahahhaha fyl

I really don't think your future in-laws are going to look at you any differently just because your mother got drunk and said those things. I'm assuming you have at least met them before this incident. If so, then they already know what kind of guy you are. Best of luck to you with your (hopefully) future marriage OP! :)

Plus they'll probably be happy you're not defiling their precious daughter

that's why you splooge into a sock and not a towel. it also helps to imagine the sock as a furry vagina.

Wow. You are a pretty lonely dude, aren't ya? Heaven forbid the unlucky girl you pick up at the truck stop washes your socks. That's disgusting.

i love when people take my random word vomit so seriously. it amuses me to know that i don't care as much as other people.

35-I was actually slightly amused. Furry vaginas are a thing of the past though.

au contraire, i prefer the feeling of rug burn over friction burn on my fuckrod.

64-tell that to my ex!

Wow! @Gregsgirl4ever your dumb as f**k if you think he was serious…

I thought it was your in-laws that are supposed to hate you. You're thinking outside the box!