Today, I tried to surprise my husband because our sex life is lacking. We have planned sex Tuesday night, every week, with the lights off. When he came home for lunch, I was naked and waiting for him. He took one look and said, "I forgot you looked like that. Meh, I'm going back to work." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML
Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML
Today, I decided to put on some sexy lingerie and wait for my husband to come home to surprise him. He took one look at me and immediately accused me of cheating. He was convinced my explanation was a lie and that I'd rushed some guy out the back door when he came home. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML
Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, I was taking a shower when my husband suddenly came in naked. I thought we were gonna have some fun, and so tried to be sexy. He took a quick shower and left. FML
Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML
Today, I dressed up in new lingerie I had bought to surprise my partner. He said "what do you want? Just go to bed instead". So much for that new confidence. FML.
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
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Top comments
luckynotso 0
tell him to shove it!! what an ass!!
jjenniferr05 0
What the **** is wrong with people?! Way to put the poor woman down even further, seriously. A woman does put on weight, not have her old looks as she gets older.. True love is about loving someone, for who they are. And truly, if he really had a problem, then he should have sat her down and sensitively talked about how he felt she wasn't doing herself justice. You don't even know that she's put on weight, or that she's let herself go, He could just be being a dick! The people on here sometimes make me so angry. No one should ever be talked to like that - 'I forgot you looked like that' - that's downright outrageous! She's probably had kids, and kept the weight from it, Or perhaps she has a few wrinkles cause she doesn't have botox. Honest to god. People are so obsessed with looks these days - they do matter, but if you love someone, you love them no matter what.
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Comments (125)
TheHcwalker 20
You can't plan sex, it ruins the mood
jaydoo 6
Shake some red pepper into his briefs.
fantastamazing 10
Hit ydi by accident
Schm17ty 1
I would NEVER let that man touch me again.