Today, I had my first date in more than two years. As soon as I sat down, the first words out of his mouth were, "How many people have you had sex with? Not just recently, but ever. I don’t date women who’ve had more than 5 partners." I left before we'd even ordered drinks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went on a date for the first time in almost a year. To keep things casual, he had a couple of his friends join. Oh and by a couple of friends, I mean a party of people from his church. I'm not religious. The date wasn't even half over before I was being preached to. FML
Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML
Today, I was on a first date with a really nice guy and, of course, when there was an awkward silence, I started talking and realized too late that I was running through my usual complaints about my worthless baby daddies. He asked how many and I said three, and he left without a word. FML
Today, I had a third date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML
Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who insisted on eating off my plate the whole night. He didn't order his own food, because according to him, "it’s more intimate to share." He didn’t get why I found the whole deal off-putting. FML
Today, I had my first date in almost four years. Twenty minutes into our dinner date, I excused myself to use the ladies room. When I came back, not only was he gone, but there was also a security guard waiting to walk me out. I still have no clue why he left or why I got kicked out. FML
Today, a guy I've been dating for a year asked me to meet him for dinner and a couple of drinks. After dinner, he confessed that he's been seeing another woman and has decided he wants to seek a relationship with her. He then told me how sex with me is great, but he didn't want me to continue being "the other woman." FML
Today, I went on a blind date. The guy greeted me with a "What's up, bitch?", which I wrote off as him just being really laid-back. By dessert, he'd asked me if my boobs are real, then when we finished, asked how many more dates it'd take before I put out. So much for that. FML
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Top comments
Fickle 6
What business is it of his? What an asshole, better luck next time.
RichardPencil 32
You should have said four and eat and drink to your heart's content. After he paid the check, say "I meant four ... this week."
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Comments (19)
Fickle 6
What business is it of his? What an asshole, better luck next time.
ojoRojo 27
**** shaming in the first 5 minutes? Not worth your time.
RichardPencil 32
You should have said four and eat and drink to your heart's content. After he paid the check, say "I meant four ... this week."
timinator5000 28
Ha brilliant!
E2dav 5
That's gold!
timinator5000 28
Wonder what his answer would have been if you asked him the exact same thing...
fjvitt 14
I actually don’t think your life sucks...just that one date... more his issue than yours...
distortedcognition 17
You should’ve asked the insecure bastard if he meant on camera or off
UnbrokenRose 13
I'm so tired of hearing that wanting a partner with a low body count means that someone is "insecure". You have the right to bang as many people as you want, and others have the right to tell you that it makes you incompatible. It's not what he said, but how he said it, that's the problem here.
Matt Much 12
I fail to see the problem. It was an important issue to him and he covered it. In poor taste to mention in the first 5 minutes but the guy is efficient.
1known 34
Why not asking how many partners he had? He’d better have less than five.
E2dav 5
Bet he didn't. Those types of guys are always 'do as I say bit not as I do'...
Miss_Red 18
You dodged a huge bullet, sweetie. No one's 'body count' should really matter.
UnbrokenRose 13
I just rolled my eyes so hard at your comment that I think I saw my own brain. You don't get to decide what "should" or "shouldn't" matter to anyone else, just because it rules you out for dating them. 🙄
Itsheragain 9
i wouldve said 5 including your dad. i mean since he wants to be a ********.