Today, I'm babysitting. The kids have only been home at the same time together for 15 minutes. Two of them have punched each other and the other is running in circles screaming. What is wrong with this picture? FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I'm babysitting three children under the age of seven. They have no discipline, don't listen, scream all the time, won't nap, terrorize my dog, and have peed their pants a collective 5 times today. I am not getting paid for this. Their mother has no plans to come get them any time soon. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML
Today, I was shut in a boiling hot room with six children: a ten year-old who kept shouting; a belligerent seven year-old; two five year-olds who thought hitting me was funny, and two two year-olds who wouldn't stop crying. Their parents were just outside, laughing away, ignoring me. FML
Today, the favorite activity of the four kids I'm babysitting is running up to me when I least expect it and farting on me. I can't even sit down without them attacking me with their butts. FML
Today, I had to babysit two kids. I told them to stop fighting, or to sit on separate couches. They stopped. I asked why nobody would sit on the other couch, where I'd been sitting. They told me it was the couch their autistic brother often pees on. FML
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was acting up, so instead of spanking him, I put him in the corner for timeout. He screamed and thrashed and kicked the walls so hard my neighbors called the police. My sister wasn’t answering her phone, and I had to explain why a 7-year-old was acting like that. FML
Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML
Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
Today, I was baby sitting ten year old twins. When they first saw me, they ran away screaming and hid in the closet. This isn't the first house where this has happened. FML
Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML
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Top comments
foolest 7
the babysitter
fooltemptress 36
You’re posting to FML instead of actually watching the kids?
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Comments (21)
TxKitten79 10
As a mom to 4, I can tell you this sounds pretty normal for some days. LOL. Good luck, OP.
Payton Elizabeth 4
The fact that your name is Levi 😝
BurnInDemonFire 39
Coming from "Payton Elizabeth" that's rich.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You're one sucky babysitter. Put your foot down, and get them to behave.
Miss_Red 18
nothing is wrong with the picture.. welcome to taking care of a set of siblings. 🤣
Jeff Boyd 5
Baby sitting is like school teaching....A great lesson in birth control!
Rabite 28
I guess your optimism that they are nicely behaved was wrong with the picture.
Frankie Gibson 6
What’s wrong is you have no control.
Levi2411 41
I'm actually really amused by how serious these replies are. I wrote this as a joke, I didn't actually think it'd be posted-- but no, I'm not a "shitty" babysitter and I'm not angry at the kids at all. They're my nieces and nephew, I just wasn't expecting them to act out that much as soon as they were in the same room together ( the sibling rivalry is real xD ) but they listen to me and it was quickly resolved with a talk. We ended up building a pillow and blanket fort, having hot coco and watching movies. To the mom of 4, good luck~ Haha, I'd personally lose my head. Kids are amazing though, just not ready for my own for a long time. ♡
WereDictionary 3
But they give back so much when they smile at you.
randybryant799 21
The babysitter who doesn't seem to know what they're doing.