By are you kidding me? - United States - Lady Lake Today, my boss joined me on my vacation, to "make sure I actually went". FML I agree, your life sucks 13442 You deserved it 908 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By KarateKid76 - Australia - Melbourne Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend when all of a sudden he stops, grabs my breasts with both hands, makes circular motions with them, and yells, "Daniel-san! Wax on! Wax off! Wax on! Wax off!", killing my orgasm dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 51398 You deserved it 6322 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - Australia - Sydney Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML I agree, your life sucks 42952 You deserved it 3485 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "catty_13" Today, thanks to my estranged husband, I had three seizures at work. I came home yesterday to find that my seizure medications were completely gone. He'd flushed them down the toilet because he thinks I'm psychotic and "read on the internet" that it's because of the meds. FML I agree, your life sucks 3993 You deserved it 253 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By niceboss - Singapore Today, on my first day of work, my new boss treated me to lunch. Thinking she was really nice, I thanked her for the treat. She fixed me with a cold, unsmiling stare and said, "Oh, don't thank me. I'm being paid to do this." FML I agree, your life sucks 28631 You deserved it 2706 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Today, after the booty call I work with became a lead, a position I was guaranteed, he's spread awful, untrue things about me around the office and since he became buddy buddy with management, they believed him. Don't shit where you eat, kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 1101 You deserved it 1816 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Babysitter Probs - United States - Fresno Today, the 8 year old that I babysit every week told me that it was sad that I didn't have a boyfriend while he has a girlfriend. I got burned by a 3rd grader. FML I agree, your life sucks 9246 You deserved it 947 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bathtime - United States Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML I agree, your life sucks 30814 You deserved it 4186 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Encino Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML I agree, your life sucks 19653 You deserved it 2136 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mimi - United States Today, I shat a magnet. FML I agree, your life sucks 14644 You deserved it 35639 322 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ovawerkrd - United Kingdom Today, I finished working a week's overtime managing admin, stock, finances, and three members of staff. I realised that despite all my extra work, I actually earn less per hour than the students who only work on the weekends. FML I agree, your life sucks 25876 You deserved it 2730 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By carla - France Odorama Today, as I came out of some changing rooms in a clothes shop, I gave back all the stuff I'd tried on to a saleswoman. I then walk off, make it about a couple of yards, change my mind and decide to purchase one of the items I'd tried. When I get back, the saleswoman was spraying the changing room I'd used with deodorant. FML I agree, your life sucks 19494 You deserved it 10648 30 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nipped - Australia Today, I thought it would be fun to tease my dog by standing above her and hitting each of her paws repeatedly. My dog thought it would be fun to jump up and bite at my chest whilst I wasn't wearing a shirt. I just spent four hours in hospital getting my nipple sewn back on. FML I agree, your life sucks 13955 You deserved it 88217 218 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Baxter Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML I agree, your life sucks 39169 You deserved it 7573 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By redneckfamily - United States - Roy Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML I agree, your life sucks 39893 You deserved it 3659 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mister_FML - 12/8/2020 08:01 Didn't think it through Today, I was at my new store, fixing it up. I was about to leave, so I took my clothes off to let the dirty ones dry, as I had other clothes in my car. I walked to the back of my store and the back door locked. The car was locked. I was in my boxers with no phone and no way to go home for 3 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 747 You deserved it 1240 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By myrkes - Switzerland - Marstetten Today, it's the day before my friends' wedding. My dress has not yet been shipped from the online shop where I ordered it three weeks ago, the hand-crafted gift that was ordered last month is trapped at customs and my cats have just managed to open the drawer and eat the wedding card. FML I agree, your life sucks 28041 You deserved it 3006 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By suckstobeme - United States Today, as I got down on one knee, and was in the middle of saying "Will you marry me?", she answered a text message. Apparently it was more important. FML I agree, your life sucks 163536 You deserved it 10687 165 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thjeltz - Canada Today, I was showering at hockey practice. It would have been business as usual, if not for one of my teammates playing with his junk and not-so-subtly asked me to connect. There are 5 more months of hockey. FML I agree, your life sucks 28808 You deserved it 3047 164 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PrettyScared - United States - Matthews Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML I agree, your life sucks 68465 You deserved it 6029 233 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Hover Hand - United States - Merchantville Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML I agree, your life sucks 9114 You deserved it 22874 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Christina - Canada Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML I agree, your life sucks 16733 You deserved it 49636 136 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By deathbysnoosnoo - United States Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML I agree, your life sucks 25748 You deserved it 5543 68 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By creditwhore - United States Today, I decided to apply for a credit card to help build up my credit rating. It seemed smart since I'm a 24 year old college graduate. I was rejected for not having a credit history. Being rejected turns out to hurt your credit history. The irony of my predicament is too great for words. FML I agree, your life sucks 34416 You deserved it 2857 159 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML I agree, your life sucks 47450 You deserved it 2744 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Evansville Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML I agree, your life sucks 32583 You deserved it 3906 133 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hinting - United States - Dearborn Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML I agree, your life sucks 76331 You deserved it 4567 178 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tenniemo Today, I caught one of my students checking out my butt while I was helping another student at his table. I teach 8th grade. FML I agree, your life sucks 1386 You deserved it 380 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my friend told me that he was having a scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in everyone was playing beer pong. FML I agree, your life sucks 40330 You deserved it 12954 202 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Chicketi - Canada Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML I agree, your life sucks 39915 You deserved it 8222 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By partycats - United States Today, I went to a funeral. When I got there, I hugged one of the family members and he asked, "How are you?" Out of habit, I replied, "Good, how about you?" He looked appalled and shouted "How the fuck do you think I am?! My mother just died!" loud enough for everyone to hear. FML I agree, your life sucks 45014 You deserved it 19570 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Singapore - Singapore Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML I agree, your life sucks 43998 You deserved it 3260 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lookslikeaboyapparently - United Kingdom Today, a little girl came up to me and asked, "Are you a boy or a girl?" I said, "I'm a girl of course!" She walked away, looking dazed and saying, "Whoa." FML I agree, your life sucks 31477 You deserved it 5967 230 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SweeT Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML I agree, your life sucks 17899 You deserved it 55000 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By monsterdanceman - United States - Ozark Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML I agree, your life sucks 48048 You deserved it 4867 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I shouldn't have told my boss that I was interested in management. She now throws any problem she doesn't want to solve at me and either gets mad when I can't work it out or takes credit when I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 44296 You deserved it 6606 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By clairebear104 - United States - Louisville Today, I went on a blind date. My date would respond to me by saying "retweet" and "favorite" when she thought something was relatable. FML I agree, your life sucks 46087 You deserved it 4078 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kay Today, I was sitting on the toilet with a really bad and noisy stomach upset. Then I hear a knock on the bathroom door. My boyfriend had decided to make a surprise visit. FML I agree, your life sucks 31657 You deserved it 3142 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By housematefromhell Today, my housemate revealed her supposed loss of function of her arm was all a lie. I spent hours in the ER with her and had to go to work the next day. Last time she lied about cancer. I'm stuck sharing with her for another 7 months. FML I agree, your life sucks 3636 You deserved it 350 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By TheOtherWoman - United States Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 39896 You deserved it 12753 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Colorado Springs Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML I agree, your life sucks 28018 You deserved it 2221 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By guii_fml | 24 #6607942 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 11:59 And what would he do if you didnt go? You took the time off Send a private message 204 0 Reply
By sohigh10 | 34 #6607939 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 11:43 That is some dedication.. why would he even care what you did in your vacation? 167 1 Reply
By sohigh10 | 34 #6607939 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 11:43 That is some dedication.. why would he even care what you did in your vacation? 167 1 Reply
By guii_fml | 24 #6607942 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 11:59 And what would he do if you didnt go? You took the time off Send a private message 204 0 Reply
By cocacola999 | 27 #6607962 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 12:43 Plot twist: it is a family business and OP's partner is their boss. Send a private message 55 1 Reply
Reply vikky538 | 28 #6608022 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 15:19 I agree with this Send a private message 4 0 Reply
By haythatsgood | 5 #6607963 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 12:47 Is your boss Michael Scott? Send a private message 27 1 Reply
By Magnoxidans | 19 #6607965 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 13:04 Pretty sure that's completely inappropriate... Send a private message 28 0 Reply
By waleedma | 17 #6607969 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 13:09 How did he know where u r going!!!!! Send a private message 0 12 Reply
Reply Enkeria | 30 #6608076 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 16:42 OP probably said something of where they were going in order to get the time off. Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By CamBamShamDaMan | 26 #6607970 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 13:11 Sounds like something my dick lick of a boss would do Send a private message 4 3 Reply
By OnlySkyrimStays | 11 #6607973 - Tuesday 17 May 2016 13:17 Does he do the same when you go to the bathroom? 24 0 Reply
Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract... I agree, your life sucks 140 You deserved it 3 1 Comments
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with a meth dealer I just met online. Of course this occurred at his place, since he's on home detention for drug trafficking... I agree, your life sucks 68 You deserved it 476 5 Comments