Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML
Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML
Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.
Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML
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Top comments
woainishamu 21
This will be one hell of a story you can tell your kids when you're old. Oh wait...
TheVoicesTalk 3
The fact that OP said 'turd waffle' to describe the kid kills me.
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Comments (74)
KendraLaine 18
Yikes! Karma will definitely get this kid! Hope the pain is better now.
Pussycat86 18
So maybe karma was what got OP into this situation! Maybe when he was a turd waffle he kicked someone's crouch? No?
vanessa09865 23
well the world is at a loss now. I literally LOL'ed. Sad that the world won't have more funny people
Ginja_HaZ 15
The turd waffle name just made my day. Thank you for that, OP. Lol Now on the ********, that was ditty of that kid. Hopefully he was kicked out of the park later on at the least. Maybe go to the doctor about it?
theworldismad 10
there's always adoption?
Sober1128 9
Turd waffle. Don't think I've heard that one before.
JacobH34 10
That'll be a good story to tell your kids someday! No, wait...
woainishamu 21
Please look at #3. That is all.
noelasis94 18
And then you set a crazy three stooges like domino effect off right?
mikepzz 27
So you drowned the kid in the pool right? I hope you did anyway, nut shots are no laughing matter :(
AngrySailor 17
Just hold said turd waffle under untill the thrashing almost stops. Then "rescue" him from drowning. Payback and you're a hero!
tehdarkness 21
Lol... Turd waffle..
theworldismad 10
so I was looking at your name and I thought it was kinda funny bc now you can't **** anyone, especially kids *not caring about thumbs down that I'm about to get*
CharresBarkrey 15
He can still have sex. Just because someone is sterile doesn't mean they can't still penetrate something.