Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turdwaffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at the waterpark. I decided to go down a slide shaped like a funnel. On the way down, my bikini bottom untied. Then I got lodged in a V shape, arse first, in the hole at the funnel exit, exposing myself to the entire pool until I could slither out. FML
Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple of minutes in, I felt a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs, and being told that "everyone wets themselves sometimes." FML
Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML
Today, I was at a water park with my family. While on the 100ft slide, my father decided it would be a great idea to pants me. I slipped and went down the 100ft slide naked for everyone to see. FML
Today, I was at the water park in Disney World when I felt something run down my leg. I thought that I just hadn't dried off all the way, but when I looked down, there was diarrhea running out of my shorts. FML
Today, I took my sister and her friend to the new swimming pool in our area. They wanted to go down one of the slides, so I went up with them. At the top of the stairs, my sister's friend kicked me in the balls and then pulled my trunks off. They pushed me down the slide naked. FML
Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.
Today, I was at the water slide with my two sisters. As we got to the top, my sister wanted me to go first. As soon as I went to go down the slide, she lamped me right in the balls from behind, and pushed me down the slide. My other sister kneed me in the same spot 5 minutes later. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML
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Top comments
woainishamu 21
This will be one hell of a story you can tell your kids when you're old. Oh wait...
TheVoicesTalk 3
The fact that OP said 'turd waffle' to describe the kid kills me.
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Comments (74)
anders09ma 7
Ugh. Bratty kids. While I was at the pool my friend went down and then some kid just pushes me out of the way saying "move lady" and goes down when my friend is halfway. WTF?!
Pussycat86 18
Well it is for this story in particular you should feel happy you won't bring more turd waffles into this world! I'm sorry OP
FlyingPie 17
Aw, nuts. The kid may have done it just for kicks, but I'm sure it made you testy.
iammeorami 25
only guys will know how it felt. yeeoowwch!!
Pat77235 8
good on you for not drowning that kid, many would not be able to resist after such a blow...
phoneYuNOlisten 16
I have felt the pain and thought the same things my friend
life_sucks225 13
find him and kill him. either that or smash his little raisin sized testicles until he wont even be able to have sex
mkcherry 14
I would have hit the kid has hard possible, as many times as i could without being caught and then just leave as he cries in the pool. Parents need to watch their dumbass hooligans. If you can spare the catch join a club that doesn't let in kids, its worth every dime not to share the water with other people's miscreants.
mkcherry 14
* spare the cash.
J08J 20
literally laughed out at "Turd waffle of a kid".
imbatmanbitch 7
what the **** is a, "turd waffle of a kid"