Today, I couldn't sleep because I had the worst time positioning myself around my cat who was sleeping in my bed. I couldn't kick my cat out of bed because I earlier today had an argument with my brother over which of us the cat loved more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm taking care of my friend's cat while he's away for a while. She's very clingy and friendly, which I don't mind… or at least, I thought I didn't mind, until I tried to go to sleep and she insisted on lying on my face. I felt bad for having to kick her out of the bedroom. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I've been trying to train the cats not to sleep on the bed, which is hard because they all adore my husband. I woke up in the middle of the night to him sleeping on his stomach and all three lying on him, staring daggers at me. FML
Today, I can't sleep. I don't know what's crazier, the fact that I have been lying in bed, staring at the ceiling for about 5 hours, or that I have been asking my cat for advice. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a paw slap, then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
Today, I had to temporarily relocate to my brother's room after mine was being repainted. Not only do I have to sleep on the floor, but I also have to put up with my brother and dog both snoring loudly. What's worse is that they alternate in snoring. Goodbye sleep. FML
Today, after struggling to fall asleep due to stress, my cat decided to wake me up by standing on me and meowing until I got up. Just for me to show him that my boyfriend had already put food in his dish. FML
Today, I went to bed, falling asleep quickly; however, my cat decided to show up and lay on top of me, making me so uncomfortably hot and sweaty that my body immediately woke me up so I wouldn't die of a heat stroke. It's fucking 1:00 AM. He NEVER sleeps with me. FML
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Top comments
lettertjes 0
You can get a cat out of your bed without kicking it, you know. Just lift it up and put it on the ground. Or lift it up and put it on a more convenient place on your bed. It'll most likely just continue sleeping.
Chunchunchun 3
I never kick my cat off my bed no matter how uncomfortable it is :)
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Comments (117)
stupidfaceman 0
sucksome 0
me and my bros do the same thing over a dog =)
catatonicsleep 17
should have just moved the cat to a more convenient place on the bed
perdix 31
Why are you complaining? You totally pwned that little bastard's ass in the cat-love department! There are people would have high-paying jobs whose cats can't stand them, so, at least you got THAT going for you. Finish your degree and go out in the "real world" and get a job. Quickly, you'll wonder why the **** you didn't like being an "unemployed college student." (Why did they edit that part out of the post?) Being some ignorant, blowhard boss's lackey is just SOOOO much better :(
stevenwu602 0
That's very kind of you, but anyway, **** you life!
irsmeagol 0
that's sad. do you sleep on a cot or something? geez...
dannyshreds92 0
wow sounds like ur life is real tough...u gotta be kidding me
LilAfo 4
dont ever underestimate cats :/
JBigDaddy 0
um why didn't you just move it over a few inches?
failuristic 3
Is it just me, or does it seem every FML(or anything posted by anyone) from Kansas is either a ******* retard or a brat? e___e; **** MY life for having to live in the same state with these people :C...
nerdsgetmehot 23
So?! Making the cat get off of the bed so you can sleep better doesn't mean that you don't "love" your cat. It just means that you want to get some sleep...