Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me because she found a bra in my cupboard. It was hers. FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. It was our anniversary just 3 nights ago, and she said she was sorry for leading me on. She still hasn’t told me why. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she heard me say "love you" on the phone. I was talking to my mom. FML
Today my girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Why? She wasn’t sure about the relationship anymore. She seemed pretty sure though, seeing she was on Tinder less than two hours after, thanks to the three different friends who all called me about it. FML
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me, saying I don’t make her happy, I don’t make her laugh, that she feels she is settling for me, and that she's not being pleased sexually. Even though she has always said I did all of that, and that we could work through anything. I was going to propose. FML
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Top comments
napero 0
Women...
perstephane 4
Amen - go get one who isn't crazy. Or, at least one who's less crazy.
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Comments (102)
Flounder 2
You deserve it for letting her drive drunk. On the off chance your area in Missouri has a fantastic late-night public transit system, you two are neighbors, or she's very environmentally friendly and therefore walks/rides her bike, I apologize. But since that is most likely not the case, you both are a couple of **** ups.
aTRAGEDY 0
my question is y was the lipstick still there u kno imma have to call bullshit on this one u sir have just one my very 1st shananigans post CONGRATULATIONS
xApril 0
Good riddance.
PutDownTheGun 0
Good riddance indeed. Had the relationship continued, you'd probably wind up alone with half your stuff and paying child support.
Polionixon 2
Maybe she planned it because she couldn't think of any other way to break up with u :P What?! you never know :P
Polionixon 2
.
chocolates 0
she probably planned all that so she has an excuse to dump you.
FerrariCake 2
Sounds like a case for Forensic Files. You need Dr Henry Lee to prove your case.
andy87 0
i hate the assholes who say "you deserved it" HOW THE HELL DID HE DERSERVE IT?!?!?!?!
blastvortex 4
Nah. YDI. (1) If you don't like or want to deal with relationship trouble, then don't make relationships. (2) You let yourself take advantage of her. (3) Your girlfriend is a ditz, but you're the one that picked her.