Weddings, Awkward and Love: Just in case

Just in case

By thanksbaby - 01/06/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 996

You deserved it 11 578

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Same thing different taste

By fml - 10/08/2013 10:48 - United States - Perry

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 638

You deserved it 12 266

It's the thought that counts

By sadwife - 31/05/2009 18:07 - United States

Today, I woke up and my husband said he got me a gift for our one year anniversary and that it was on the table. We laid around cuddling and when I finally got up I was expecting to walk out to beautiful bouquet of flowers. I got two packs of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 683

You deserved it 10 787

By Anonymous - 24/07/2009 06:31 - United States

Today, I opened some small cute birthday gifts at my boyfriend's house. As we left to go out, he slipped me a Tiffany box and said he wanted me to open it in private. Flushed and excited, I open it to find a ziploc filled with hair. It was his mustache I had been begging him to shave for months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 802

You deserved it 20 451

By Anonymous - 04/11/2014 02:39 - United States - Baraboo

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 590

You deserved it 5 540

By baconbreath=| - 13/11/2010 05:12 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I had a picnic on the beach. It was so romantic and perfect. He leant forward to kiss me. Once we had kissed he said, "We haven't even started eating yet", and passed me a mint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 083

You deserved it 9 630

Love is in the air

By Rydia - 31/10/2020 05:01

Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 196

By sarah - 11/02/2012 06:36 - United States

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 222

You deserved it 47 332

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 908

You deserved it 38 041

Childlike

By Anonymous - 03/08/2020 20:01

Today, I asked my fiance for some attention. He licked my cheek and attached himself to my leg. He's 34 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 521

By cjk004 - 15/02/2009 11:35 - United States

Today, I was trying on lingerie in the dressing room of Victoria’s Secret with my boyfriend next to me. I told my him in a seductive, playful tone “You can stay and watch if you give me a piece of your gum.” He said “No I only have three more” and left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 759

You deserved it 6 623

Dogmaw 0

Monday 1 June 2009 16:01

Are you sure he wasn't going for that "peppermint BJ" action? I mean, either you need those mints or you don't.

moony_fml 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:57

lol #1 What can i say...very smooth fiancee

Comments

summer24 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 14:19

It's not that bad

bosshaug 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 17:54

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Jdeluxh 12

Thursday 4 June 2009 8:18

U deserved that one. I can smell u from here.

lancers15 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:26

Wow ur husband is a doucher have fun living your life with him !

KillaKellaz 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 21:57

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAA

rakhil11 7

Saturday 13 June 2009 5:51

i'm 12 and i realize it's 4 a *******....

pyros09 0

Tuesday 8 September 2009 12:21

And that's something to be proud of?

chapinitachic 0

Wednesday 17 June 2009 21:01

Definitely for a bj. no need to worry.

Charlieeeeeeeeee 0

Saturday 26 September 2009 14:35

Haha lol Just take it as a joke jeez I hate these FMLs just overreacting

HyperExecuter 0

Monday 14 December 2009 7:27

#91, shut thefuck up u little 12 year old. u dint know shit so stop being a bitch

browniie_fml 3

Tuesday 15 March 2011 4:36

Use your creativity ? :)

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was explaining a complex work issue to my team. I moved my chair back so I could see them all. The leg of my chair went into a hole in the floor, causing it to fall over and me with it. I tried to finish explaining but everyone was laughing so hard they couldn't hear. Then they realized I couldn't get up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 88

Today, my mom admitted that the only reason she took me out for lunch was because she felt guilty over going on a massive shopping spree for my sister while I was forced to stay home alone. I thanked her for the Wendy's meal anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 740

You deserved it 2 152

The Top

Today, I found out that if my husband and I move to another country to live, then his mom and sister will live with us too. I'm already living with them because of societal traditions. I like them and everything, but I really need some privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 045

You deserved it 356

Today, I'm single, as all the girls I’ve ever liked are either taken or hate my guts, and even if you don’t tell her, another girl would feel it, as if she’s a fifth choice at best, and might not like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 868

Today, an attractive woman was flirting with me from across a coffee shop. When I walked over and introduced myself, she served me with my divorce paperwork. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 991

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 387

You deserved it 2 550

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 174

You deserved it 8 226

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 785

You deserved it 3 981