Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we got a new kitten, and my older cat is not happy. I just learned that my fiance doesn't interfere when they fight. He says watching my old fat cat chase the kitten is the funniest thing he's seen all month. FML
Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor at our wedding. FML
Today, my cat still loves my boyfriend more than me. I spent around 6 months convincing my boyfriend to get a cat. FML
Today, my future husband presented me with an engagement ring he had had engraved with the pet name he calls his cat. FML
Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML
Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend has trained my three cats to respond to "Fart Cat", "Little Shit", and "Lumpy Butt" as well as their actual names. I'd be less annoyed if all three didn't adore him and sit on his lap every day. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I awoke to my cat sitting on my chest. That wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't tried to get her off. She promptly went crazy and scratched me. My fiancée, who was sleeping next to me, hit me, called me cruel, and told me to apologize to the cat. I did. FML
Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML
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Top comments
VixenOfTheDeep 6
I dont want to pick any! This is the funniest thing i have ever heard. I talk to my 6 month old pet rabbit and so does my boyfriend. We blame stuff on him and he just looks at us like were nuts. Animals are great companions when your feeling alone or depressed because they dont judge you :). By the way i love your fiance he seems like the funniest dude ever id have filmed it and put it on youtube/facebook.
perdix 31
Look, without him, you are on your way to becoming a crazy, spinster cat lady. He'll provide you with cover, so you can be a crazy cat couple. Shame on you for letting your cat get fat and out of shape. How's he supposed to get any pussy?
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Comments (107)
ravenxcorvinus 9
O.o okay.. i love cats.. although "making the cat call him 'couch daddy'.." is pushing it a lil' too far! OP.. lol i'd offer to call him "couch daddy" instead, if i we're in your shoes OP ;)
iloveyou2129 6
haha i love angry cats they r so funny
dansco 25
At least when you dump the berk, leave him the cat so he can start with the cat lady/man thing lol
nvo 6
Does your cat have a weight issue?
asia3pea90 13
Lame story.
Zora55 2
What can you say he just really knows how to work a pus..
lovestheice 0
Why are you so embarrassed of it? I like the sound of your husband. He sounds like he has a good sense of humor! Remember that normal gets you nowhere (:
SOD_sonofdixie 5
Buy a laser pointer... They work wonders
Fmlsea 28
This made my day haha
JenniferTheDark 0
You can actually earn hundreds training cats, but I highly doubt your husband's training him properly...