Love: Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor... - FML

By Desiree_lianne - 26/03/2016 21:02 - United States

Today, my fiance said his cat is going to be my maid of honor at our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 952

You deserved it 2 959

Age difference

Broken heart

Hiding from the drama

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 01:33 - United States - Chicago

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 956

You deserved it 3 562

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 04:59 - Canada

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 318

You deserved it 2 715

By Anonymous - 11/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old cousin has been having raging temper tantrums, added to an inability to tell the truth, and a disturbingly sociopathic nature. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing a psychopath in the making, and I'm stuck living here for 2 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 565

You deserved it 215

By anti-peecleaner - 22/11/2010 22:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 354

You deserved it 5 191

Chill out, mom

By chasingcars0624 - 28/08/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I got a knock on my door at 3 a.m. Turns out, if I ignore my mother long enough, she will assume I have died and will call the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 890

You deserved it 13 164

By Stuck - 15/07/2009 04:01 - United States

Today, I was going to break up with my boyfriend after we went out for dinner. To my surprise, our families were also in the restaurant, to witness him propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 733

You deserved it 14 354

By ihatepokemon - 22/07/2013 22:14 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 731

You deserved it 11 788

By Anonymous - 01/11/2010 17:30 - United States

Today, I drove to the hospital to see my newborn. I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him. Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a woman who I didn't know come out. She screamed. My wife was in the room next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 422

You deserved it 10 315

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 10:30 - United States - Shreveport

Today, I was in a public bathroom with the runs when I noticed my stall didn't have any toilet paper. I was the only one in the bathroom, and I thought I could make it to the stall next to me and grab some with my pants down. I wasn't actually the only one in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 523

You deserved it 9 132

By Anonymous - 28/01/2017 02:00

Today, we found out the god-awful smell in our truck was actually coming from the whole uncooked chicken I thought the store forgot to ring up over 2 weeks ago. It had fallen out of the bag and under the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 869

You deserved it 1 865

Didn't think it through

By Mister_FML - 12/08/2020 08:01

Today, I was at my new store, fixing it up. I was about to leave, so I took my clothes off to let the dirty ones dry, as I had other clothes in my car. I walked to the back of my store and the back door locked. The car was locked. I was in my boxers with no phone and no way to go home for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 1 284

By em from Cali - 28/07/2012 08:07 - United States - Visalia

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 409

You deserved it 2 508

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 567

You deserved it 15 075

By Anonymous - 31/07/2018 01:30

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 918

You deserved it 307

By whymomwhy - 11/07/2015 17:20 - United States - Salem

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 276

You deserved it 2 870

By ohsnap - 22/01/2011 21:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 696

You deserved it 5 704

By Rachel - 10/06/2011 09:57 - United States

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 914

You deserved it 13 462

By Ophelia - 08/06/2016 04:05 - United States - Hudson

Today, a realtor came to take a look at my house. I had worked all morning to make it look lovely. When they took pictures, I explained a number of ways I could change things so everything would look as good as possible. After the house tour, they told me it should be bulldozed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 809

You deserved it 1 045

By exalia - 07/05/2012 20:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I finally bought a car, after saving up for a year. My dealer had told me it was a good buy, so I snapped it up then and there. On the way home, the rear axle practically fell out of the car due to frame rot. My dealer wants to buy the car back at half the price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 033

You deserved it 30 192

By preggo - 19/02/2012 08:55 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend's father suggested that, ideally, I should aim to have my baby in early July, or wait until he gets back from Europe in October. I'm due September 4th, and he will be "incredibly disappointed" if he misses the birth of his first grandchild due to my "selfishness". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 042

You deserved it 3 097

By Catcrap! - 18/11/2013 23:47 - United States - Rialto

Today, I'm moving from Arizona to Washington State with my 2 cats in my car. I've only just left and just learned that one cat gets carsick and the other stress farts. Only 956 more miles to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 240

You deserved it 6 358

After vacation

By Anonymous - 23/12/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 316

You deserved it 254

By quadropheniac - 09/06/2009 16:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128 265

You deserved it 8 076

By foojew93 - 09/08/2009 17:41 - United States

Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 205

You deserved it 3 796

By shmarf - 20/06/2015 06:00 - United States - Belton

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 583

You deserved it 19 458

By Cornbreesha - 28/11/2009 07:13 - United States

Today, a mall cop tore up my 'Free hugs' sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 891

You deserved it 17 276

By mariology - 11/12/2013 12:33 - United States - Newark

Today, I found a credit card at my job. As store policy goes, we have to cut up lost cards immediately after finding them to protect the cardholders. As I grab the scissors and cut, my manager calls out, "Has anyone seen my credit card?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 746

You deserved it 11 571

Mexican Standoff

By JillianJuneBug - 17/08/2019 18:00

Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 403

You deserved it 581

By Anonymous - 02/07/2013 05:24 - United States - Garden Grove

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 245

You deserved it 68 875

By rozziepop - 30/03/2012 05:37 - United States - Visalia

Today, I saw my 22-year-old boyfriend blow his nose into his hand, then wipe his snot on our couch. There was a box of tissues directly in front of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 387

You deserved it 3 509

By Flandre - 23/12/2018 11:55

Today, I gave over $100 to my online friend in presents for Christmas, only to find out he can't use any because of his strict parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 476

By Anonymous - 13/09/2010 16:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to my husband slowly pulling my blanket off me. I thought he was being romantic until I realized it was because the cat had puked all over me while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 189

You deserved it 2 918

By Laura - 27/05/2014 15:58 - United States

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 329

You deserved it 4 122

Amityville

By bumpinthenight - 20/04/2020 08:00

Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 911

You deserved it 315

By shiiiiit - 15/11/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I was having trouble blowing out the last of the several candles on my bedside table. Exasperated, I blew as hard as I could, which sent hot wax from the other candles shooting into the air, all over my face and into my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 102

You deserved it 12 477

By lonelyandbored - 31/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 231

You deserved it 11 156

By This girl - 19/12/2011 18:01 - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 261

You deserved it 3 378

By Anonymous - 11/12/2015 19:16 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I had my first job interview in months. The guy chuckled mockingly at my master's degree in philosophy and wound up admitting that he had no idea why I'd even been selected to be interviewed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 178

You deserved it 3 704

Rude awakening

By Anonymous - 08/04/2020 23:00

Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 220

By sunshine19217 - 18/01/2011 23:07 - United States

Today, I took the time to make myself look nice just so that the pizza guy would think I had a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 464

You deserved it 8 663

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:28

If I hadn't eloped when I got married, I would've totally had my dogs as the best men! They are a big part of your life and why wouldn't you to include them? However, if you don't want that speak up. It's both of yours wedding and everyone should be happy!

nzhx 23

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:26

It's your wedding too. Neither of you should veto or demand something for/from the other person. Just have a calm talk with him and explain why that a terrible fucking idea

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nzhx 23

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:26

It's your wedding too. Neither of you should veto or demand something for/from the other person. Just have a calm talk with him and explain why that a terrible fucking idea

Send a private message

Sunday 27 March 2016 18:49

If he likes his cat so much, why can't it be the best man instead? Can't he compromise? lol! You know I'm kidding OP. Best of luck trying to stir some maturity and reasoning into your future husband.

domolovesyoshi 33

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Sunday 27 March 2016 21:05

Actually you can veto somethings like for instance the Bride picks her own Bridal party and maid of honour while the groom picks his own Groomsmen and best man.

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Monday 28 March 2016 10:43

Its not a terrible idea cats are the best

TymeToTry_fml 11

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:27

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:32

There exists a reply button.

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Sunday 27 March 2016 17:04

Because he said the cat was going to be OP's maid of honor. OP probably wants to pick her own maid of honor.

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Sunday 27 March 2016 17:15

I know!

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:28

If I hadn't eloped when I got married, I would've totally had my dogs as the best men! They are a big part of your life and why wouldn't you to include them? However, if you don't want that speak up. It's both of yours wedding and everyone should be happy!

TymeToTry_fml 11

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:30

i can think of a thousand way a dog can ruin your marriage. A cat on the other hand... it's purrfect.

Br0k3nch4r4ct3r 11

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Monday 28 March 2016 6:22

TymeTo not try so hard.

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:29

I thought it was always the Crazy Cat Lady not Crazy Cat Man.

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Sunday 27 March 2016 17:14

It's 2016; we could have the mentally unstable fem demiboy for all we care.

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:30

You better not let this happen. As #1 said, talk with him, and if he is not willing to change his decision, perhaps you need to reevaluate your choice to be with him. If he isn't taking the wedding seriously, what else will be not be able to take seriously?

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Tuesday 29 March 2016 21:25

And what if he is being serious? Sure maybe he shouldnt choose her maid of honor but he may be willing to compromise as it being his best man. Id have my puppy be my maid of honor when I get married.

InfiniteSunshine 32

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:32

You're the bride, so it's your maid of honor, you're the one that gets to decide who stands beside you at the wedding, he doesn't get to choose that for you. It would be like you choosing his best man.

deejayharry1 11

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:34

I agree it is weird

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:39

You should probably be happy that he didnt want the cat to walk you down the aisle

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:51

I don't think the groom gets to decide who the maid of honor is going to be. That's total BS.

DoomedGemini 37

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Sunday 27 March 2016 16:55

As others have said, talk to him. Perhaps the cat could be a ring bearer or something, I've heard of many animals being in weddings and I don't see why it's "so terrible" or him not taking the wedding seriously. Some people are closer to their animals than people.

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Sunday 27 March 2016 17:01

A ring bearer is a better suited role for a pet, but a maid of honor has responsibilities in the wedding. She is supposed to help the bride, sign as a witness, make a toast to the groom, and make sure the bride doesn't go bridezilla if something goes wrong. Plus the maid of honor should be the brides choice. So you are right that pets can be a part of the wedding party (my pup was ring bearer), but his request is ridiculous.

DoomedGemini 37

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Monday 28 March 2016 0:41

I actually didn't think over a lot of that truthfully, the only weddings I participated in so far was when I was really young so thank you. But yes, wanting the cat as maid of honor is a bad idea, I just don't understand why some people in the comments think wanting an animal to be part of the wedding is ridiculous or immature.

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 38

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 123

Today, my wife and I had arranged a threesome with a guy, but I was late home so they “had the threesome without me.” It’s not cheating, because I obviously knew she was going to have sex with him during the threesome, but me not being there makes me mad and I can’t coherently explain why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 690

You deserved it 808