Depression, Sextoys and Intimacy: It's the thought that counts, right?

It's the thought that counts, right?

By kdmoney - 23/09/2011 06:16 - United States

Today, my mother said I'm slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution? Buying me a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 293

You deserved it 7 557

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Sarah - 25/08/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 617

You deserved it 10 409

Sharing is caring

By Can't Unsee - 25/08/2018 22:00

Today, my mother found my sex toys. To make me "feel better" she showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 158

You deserved it 564

By Mygawdwhy - 21/01/2018 01:30

Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 177

You deserved it 2 049

By Ab - 10/02/2009 01:50 - United States

Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 301

You deserved it 42 767

By wet dreams - 12/02/2016 17:46 - United States - Cartersville

Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 979

You deserved it 4 563

By Anonymous - 28/04/2015 16:58 - United Kingdom - Exminster

Today, after assuming I'd been scammed, I finally found the vibrator I ordered over 2 months ago. It was in my mom's bedside cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 797

You deserved it 4 436

By Noname - 13/03/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 281

You deserved it 5 337

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 05:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 295

You deserved it 15 550

By ToysforHire - 22/09/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that my girlfriend secretly purchased a vibrator and has been using it for the past two weeks. When I confronted her, her only argument was "It's made me cum more times than you could." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 7 775

Kinda cute

By anon - 09/09/2013 15:15 - United States - Mantua

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. - Mom and Dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 397

You deserved it 25 996

chell1894 13

Friday 23 September 2011 12:15

I like it!

saIty 17

Friday 23 September 2011 12:19

Just stick a picture of him on your little friend. Use it well young Jedi.

Comments

TraceCase_ 19

Friday 23 September 2011 15:06

Try and look us in the eye and say you haven't tried it out yet... You can't.

justablonde67 4

Friday 23 September 2011 15:07

My boyfriend left for Fresno state too!

emilo_fml 0

Friday 23 September 2011 15:08

Don't go into depression! It's a hard world to get out of During chemo ugh! I hope the gift helps?

p33lzhear 6

Friday 23 September 2011 15:19

your mom is awesome. Those things can be expensive, use it well

ohxdamnxkay02 12

Friday 23 September 2011 15:45

that is not an FML.. that is a MLIB(:

mic203 2

Friday 23 September 2011 15:51

use it!

deomarie 1

Friday 23 September 2011 16:14

Go Dogs!!!!!!!

bincoo 0

Friday 23 September 2011 16:15

Momma knows what's up..!

paramor3 23

Friday 23 September 2011 16:19

Oh how considerate of her...yikes lol!! Haha, you're in the clear as long as she doesn't insist on showing you how to use it!!

kp4294 2

Friday 23 September 2011 16:22

Wish that would have happened to me. Lol!!

Keywords

Awkward Cars Embarrassing Transportation Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Thief Money Health Depression Mental health Work Wanker Bodyshaming Love Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Cops

The Top

Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 68

Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 181

The Top

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 940

You deserved it 3 973

Today, my long distance girlfriend of 6 months, who landed in canada last week, and for whom I was supposed to travel from Toronto to Vancouver next week to meet her for the first time, blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 171

Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 631

You deserved it 4 380

Today, my deranged coworker sent me a text message containing a picture that she just took of her uncle. It was at his funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 028

You deserved it 2 017

Today, a telemarketer called my house phone and asked for my grandpa. We were in the middle of having his wake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 189

You deserved it 387

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she'd cheated on me with my best friend. I can't get mad at her, because I cheated on her with him before she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 1 939

It's the thought that counts, right?

Same thing different taste

Sharing is caring

Kinda cute

Top comments

Comments