Friends, Relatable and Awkward: It's not me, it's you

It's not me, it's you

By Anonymous - 10/10/2021 15:00 - Mexico - Lagos De Moreno

Today, I went out with two new friends. While we were talking, they said that their mother had called them to go home. Later on, I saw them in the main square, hanging out. I wasn't creepy or disrespectful, and I don't know why they did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 128

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Same thing different taste

By slondons - 18/01/2011 20:53 - United Kingdom

Today, my friends were acting strange around me. This afternoon, I got a text asking me to meet them out for a couple of drinks. Because of all the strange acting, I decided to tell them I'd go and then not go. I just found out they had been planning me a surprise party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 629

You deserved it 52 354

By hateskool888581 - 12/01/2010 00:28 - Mexico

Today, I went to a nearby nightclub with some friends and the girl I've been flirting for weeks. We were having a good time until this girl and two of her friends got back complaining about some "drunk-old-perverts harassing them". It looks like my dad and his friends are having a good time too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 921

You deserved it 2 347

Unforgettable

By bex - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with two old friends from high school. While at the restaurant, we saw a girl who we graduated with. The girl gave both of them hugs, then introduced herself to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 024

You deserved it 2 302

By Anonymous - 22/05/2013 17:10 - United States - Pomona

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 007

You deserved it 5 145

By noo - 11/10/2009 10:54 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 187

You deserved it 2 424

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 523

You deserved it 2 989

Good friends

By cavallo31 - 28/06/2016 00:47 - United States

Today, I invited my friends to meet up at the park. After asking twice, I finally got the text saying to meet them there. But when I got there, I realized they had already been there for a while. As I was walking up to them, I heard, "Why did you invite him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 997

You deserved it 892

By motherdearest - 21/03/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 286

You deserved it 6 988

So frustrating!

By Anonymous - 21/11/2013 20:37 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 416

You deserved it 10 269

By Bullet - 13/08/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, I had to go along with my mom to meet some of her old friends from high school. When they asked her about how her life was going, she said she was married, always traveling, no kids, and introduced me as the neighbor's kid she babysits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 281

You deserved it 3 373

loopylaura88 17

Monday 11 October 2021 2:57

im sorry OP, but the fact that you said you weren't "creepy or disrespectful" makes me think that you probably are without realising it

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 10 October 2021 23:50

They obviously live in the main square, duh...

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 10 October 2021 23:50

They obviously live in the main square, duh...

loopylaura88 17

Monday 11 October 2021 2:57

im sorry OP, but the fact that you said you weren't "creepy or disrespectful" makes me think that you probably are without realising it

george1986 7

Monday 11 October 2021 16:23

FACTS!💯🎯

Ms. Kristel 2

Monday 11 October 2021 14:29

perhaps there vibes can't match yours. it's a matchy2x thing. find yours

Glitterbaby2613 20

Saturday 6 November 2021 7:58

Maybe you just overstayed your welcome

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 715

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 527

You deserved it 1 300

The Top

Today, I was talking to a new friend when I told him my last name. It’s hyphenated. He then left and declared me to be a "stuck-up bitch" who thinks she’s "too good to take a man’s last name." This is the name I was born with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 139

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 967

You deserved it 4 900

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 370

You deserved it 65 415

Today, my long-distance boyfriend decided to tell me he found a girl in his hometown he’s become attracted to, and that he doesn’t love me anymore. He says we can "still be friends." I’d just driven 100 miles to see him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 074

You deserved it 130

Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 599

You deserved it 4 010

Today, I found out there's a Harry Potter club at my school. My boyfriend is in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 342

You deserved it 43 096