Love, Weddings, Marriage, Weird and Awkward: Inspired

Inspired

By HateThatB - 18/11/2021 23:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my ex-fiancé married the woman he cheated on me with. Their wedding was an exact replica of how I had planned mine to be, decorations, colors, cake, etc. Oh, and she also copied the dress I'd said yes to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 91

Love Weddings Marriage Weird Awkward

Another great day to be alive

Taking stock

Hat Up

By cdick - 11/03/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 079

You deserved it 5 411

By Just keep the pins - 25/12/2016 17:50 - Sweden - Floda

Today, it's been 2 months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 015

You deserved it 843

Quiet

By Anonymous - 07/08/2011 01:40 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year-old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 586

You deserved it 11 483

By UghCats - 06/02/2011 01:58 - United States

Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 728

You deserved it 12 113

By Anonymous - 01/10/2012 23:19 - United States - Topeka

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 391

You deserved it 1 730

By MonsterProblems - 07/01/2015 07:07 - Croatia

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 206

You deserved it 3 313

By notacaveman - 16/04/2013 13:27 - Netherlands

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 072

You deserved it 13 409

By mynoseburns - 22/02/2010 19:32 - United States

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 438

You deserved it 2 647

By scaredypants123 - 07/03/2014 15:41 - United States

Today, I was in bed staring at two red lights coming from my DVD player. They reminded me of the terminator movies, and I had to unplug it. I'm 23 years old and scared of The Terminator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 351

You deserved it 9 107

Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

By kitty - 11/11/2012 10:10 - Australia

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 953

You deserved it 3 007

The Dilbert Principle

By Anonymous - 14/06/2017 16:00

Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 274

You deserved it 310

By SpideyFace - 19/03/2011 01:36 - Canada

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 835

You deserved it 5 846

By I hate my job - 23/12/2014 08:14 - Canada - Delta

Today, I went to my retail job to buy some clothing. As soon as I walked through the doors, my manager yelled at me for not being in appropriate work clothes. I tried to explain that I was off the clock but he was having none of it. I got written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 182

You deserved it 3 081

By Anonymous - 05/01/2013 00:56 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 400

You deserved it 5 167

By AwkwardMoments - 26/01/2017 14:00

Today, while napping on the couch, I had a very vivid dream about a girl I like. I woke up to my mother and father choking back laughter and recording me on their phones. I don't know what's worse: waking up with a boner in front of my parents or finding out I was also talking dirty in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 826

You deserved it 673

By mel - 11/05/2012 21:23 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 723

You deserved it 3 117

By lifesucksbigtimefuys - 04/12/2011 08:36 - United Kingdom

Today, the girl I've had a crush on for years asked if I could be her "emergency gay friend". Worst part? I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 601

You deserved it 26 629

By nothing - 08/04/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, my good friend who just had a baby girl sent her newborn's pictures to me via picture message. To reply, instead of writing "Awwwwww" I wrote "Ewwwwww" by mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 839

You deserved it 63 678

Preemptive strike

By Alex Kiwi - 02/04/2020 20:00

Today, I grounded my son for vaping. However, the coronavirus has already grounded all of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 432

You deserved it 332

Confused

By Anonymous - 13/06/2014 23:36 - United States - Rahway

Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 487

You deserved it 5 991

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 15:44 - Romania

Today, I overheard a conversation between my boyfriend and his best friend about how to shave one's nuts completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 9 106

By Anonymous - 04/07/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend returned from a 2 month internship in New York. As I saw him exit the plane, I imagined him running to me and kissing/spinning me around passionately like in movies. He got closer and closer, and as I opened my arms to embrace him, he runs past me saying, "BRB, I GOTTA TAKE A SHIT." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 504

You deserved it 10 649

Deep ink

By Wanderlei Santos - 09/07/2020 14:03

Today, I'm going to get my first tattoo. Too bad it's inside my colon so the surgeon can mark the section to remove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 89

By epiiphany - 16/12/2009 23:01 - United States

Today, my little brother got mad at me, so he colored the entire screen of my new iPod Touch with a black sharpie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 956

You deserved it 5 330

By scarlett666 - 05/06/2009 02:04 - United Kingdom

Today, on a plane home from Ireland, my husband who was severely hungover, vomitted in a bag before we took off. When he got up to put the bag in the bin the stewardess forced him to sit back down. I had to hold on to a bag full of vomit for a good few minutes whilst my husband was passed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 850

You deserved it 5 561

By anerdmom - 18/10/2018 14:00

Today, while dropping my son off at the bus stop before school, I went to give him a kiss on the cheek. Then, before I was able to make contact, he jumped away, yelled "PSYCH!!!!" as loud as he could, and jumped on the bus. The kids all laughed at me and the other parents looked embarrassed for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 836

You deserved it 337

By beatricesank - 23/05/2009 14:03 - Canada

Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 885

You deserved it 6 621

Go to a doctor

By norelaxtime - 20/04/2021 08:00 - United States - Lexington

Today, I spent all day on the toilet trying to pee and when I did, very little would come out. I would stand up, sit on the couch then go back to the toilet. I have been going to the bathroom around 30 times, including last night trying to fall asleep. Worst day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 71

By mjohnston - 27/03/2009 14:47 - United States

Today, I was fired from a managerial position I've held for two years due to "inappropriate relations with a subordinate": I was dating a coworker. My girlfriend then broke up with me four hours later. Because I no longer had a job. I hired her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 503

You deserved it 13 602

Bouncing off the walls

By whyyyyyy - 21/05/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, I'd always suspected my mother in law hated me. My suspicions were confirmed when I went to pick up my son from her house after work. She smiled smugly and let me know that he’d been asleep since noon. It’s after 5. He’s never going to get back to sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 77

By Anonymous - 04/07/2009 01:45 - United States

Today, I watched my best friend get married to the guy I have been in love with since the 8th grade. I was the maid of honor, and had to give a toast to the couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 361

You deserved it 17 635

By Blue_Heart - 05/09/2015 18:47 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I decided to bike to work. I normally forget the key to my lock, so I leave it out back and hope that nobody takes it, and nobody does. I finally remembered my lock key so I chained it up. After my 7 hour shift, I walk to the back only to find the lock had been cut, and my bike was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 1 949

By Anonymous - 31/10/2011 16:13 - Singapore

Today, my husband's car was stolen from our driveway while he was out jogging. We'd recently had a huge fight, and he accused me of having done this to get revenge. I was at work all day, but it seems this doesn't make any difference to his dumb, paranoid ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 311

You deserved it 6 486

Big one

By Cnscott0205 - 17/11/2019 14:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I accidentally touched someone's boobs. It was a man. And I noticed that they were bigger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 240

By drchinky888 - 18/09/2016 17:10 - Spain - Barcelona

Today, I was having dinner at my aunt's house who just migrated to Germany from India and doesn't know any German. I asked for the recipe of a dish and she said that she has been buying these cans with cute kitty picture and just adds spices to it. Catfood is delicious I must admit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 244

You deserved it 976

Glittery letters

By Anonymous - 27/01/2020 18:00

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 421

By idiot - 24/01/2013 19:53 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 544

You deserved it 40 211

By Anonymous - 20/08/2017 20:00

Today, I was told to put away the new toilet paper rolls. I reached in the package only for my hand to get wet, and then noticed the yellow liquid at the bottom. My cat used it as a litter box. At least, I hope it was my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 408

You deserved it 374

By snydeeli000 - 27/10/2015 03:41 - United States - Kent

Today, I learned the hisses of my 3 cats so I can tell who starts the fights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 543

You deserved it 3 379

By Anonymous - 23/02/2017 01:00 - United Kingdom - Colchester

Today, nobody wanted to come to my graduation after finding out that my father was coming too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 829

You deserved it 447

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Top comments

RichardPencil 30

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Friday 19 November 2021 9:16

How did she learn all this? Did you have the bad taste to post all of your pre-wedding planning on social media? Or is this woman just psychic?

Abbusser 11

Send a private message

Friday 19 November 2021 18:08

Did he leave you for your wedding planner?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Friday 19 November 2021 9:16

How did she learn all this? Did you have the bad taste to post all of your pre-wedding planning on social media? Or is this woman just psychic?

Abbusser 11

Send a private message

Friday 19 November 2021 18:08

Did he leave you for your wedding planner?

Hangryko 19

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Friday 19 November 2021 19:31

Pam Beesly?

Chazzster 22

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Saturday 20 November 2021 3:18

Stop following or keeping track of Ex’s - It will just cause you pain.

raven_of_azarath 34

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Sunday 21 November 2021 9:24

They may have a mutual friend who went and told them afterwards. It doesn’t have to be a creepy, social media stalking situation.

CowgirlWithHeart 13

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Saturday 20 November 2021 8:02

She sounds like she's obsessed with you.

Nearly

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28

You deserved it 8

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 9

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 97

Today, my wife announced she wants to incorporate a saddle into our lovemaking. This might be fine, except she wants me to wear an actual 30-pound saddle, and I have bad knees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 83