Family: Insane parents, part 38765

Insane parents, part 38765

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 09:32 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Today, my mum vented her anger on me by shattering my mouse on the floor, taking my keyboard and nearly ripping out my monitor. At least a spare mouse and the on screen keyboard are better than nothing. This hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 798

You deserved it 99

Family

The smell detective is on the case

Our house, in the middle of our street

Hope there's no dancing involved

Priorities

By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 15:58 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my father-in-law left my wedding reception because he had to feed the dog. This would have been alright, if he hadn't been absent for nearly two hours. Apparently, just feeding the dog and leaving would have hurt the animal's feelings so he stayed to play with him for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 931

You deserved it 1 831

By single - 20/10/2013 23:21 - United States

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 991

You deserved it 3 681

By LeChameauTrisomique - 14/03/2014 04:33 - France - Saint-germain-de-la-grange

Today, in the middle of a Spanish oral exam, I start to panic. My teacher suggests I say whatever pops into my head. I blurt out, "Heeey Macarena!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 533

You deserved it 8 922

Our house, in the middle of our street

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:59 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I realized I could say nothing in my home without being interrupted, talked over, or the subject derailed into a 30 minutes monologue by my housemates. And they wonder why I'm so quiet all the time… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 337

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 07/03/2012 04:03 - United States

Today, I had to bury my horse again because coyotes keep digging it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 960

You deserved it 3 357

By student101 - 26/03/2014 03:37 - United States - Sun Prairie

Today, I got a history project back that I worked very hard on. The teacher didn't bother to write any feedback, besides, "Did you even understand the assignment?" on the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 623

You deserved it 6 506

By Abandoned - 15/02/2010 07:28 - United States

Today, our family went out to a restaurant at night. My cousin and I needed to go to the restroom, so we told everyone before going. Less than three minutes later, we came out to find them gone, along with the cars. They forgot about their own kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 800

You deserved it 2 443

By itsEVERYWHERE - 08/03/2010 05:34 - United States

Today, I got food poisoning and have had the worst diarrhea ever. I laid down in bed, hoping to get some rest when my dad thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into my room and scare the shit out of me. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 031

You deserved it 2 625

By a-scared - 06/08/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 525

You deserved it 8 617

By Anonymous - 09/03/2014 19:31 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was on the subway, when the girl opposite me suddenly started shouting and accusing me of photographing her. I was reading a book on my phone, and I showed her the screen, but I got shoved around anyway by another guy, who threatened to report me for being a pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 031

You deserved it 3 261

By Ignored - 13/07/2011 06:47 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend can name each and every Pokémon, but can't remember my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 264

You deserved it 9 347

By Zippyzoo - 03/02/2009 22:16 - United States

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 246

You deserved it 9 089

By XxHinkaixX - 01/08/2010 02:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking through an old photo album of mine. I turned to a page with a picture of me on my last day of college. I thought the picture was quite nice. He turned to me and said, "Don't worry, I take bad pictures too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 433

You deserved it 3 471

By ugh - 05/06/2010 23:49 - Canada

Today, my dad found and read my diary. Most of the entries were about how my father didn't respect my privacy. Then he phoned my aunt and read her passages from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 756

You deserved it 3 892

By sucksforme - 12/09/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I parked in front of a grocery store and took the portable GPS system off the mount on the dashboard and put it in my pocket so no one would break into my car and steal it. When I got back, the window was smashed and someone had stolen the plastic mount. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 496

You deserved it 3 506

By Cindy - 20/03/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, my dad told me he has been dating my boyfriend's mom while I was away at college. They have gotten pretty serious, and are thinking about getting married. I might be dating my stepbrother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 724

You deserved it 7 294

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 02:01

Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 237

By crossl17 - 12/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new $10,000 car since my old one broke down. Today, I also found out the old one wasn’t starting because i never had it in park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 4 573

By notoneatall - 07/07/2014 03:39 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I got called a cunt at work by a customer. What could I have said that could have caused them to say that? "Have a great day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 588

You deserved it 3 935

By GirlishMan1883897 - 24/07/2010 10:53 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 076

You deserved it 74 626

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 282

You deserved it 3 097

Where's my NS10s gone?

By Anonymous - 08/10/2021 14:00 - Spain - Palma De Mallorca

Today, I woke up to find my home studio cleared of most of my music gear. Apparently, my brother went on a Tinder date with a stranger late at night, and decided it to bring her to my place's guest room since my house "was closer." I'd been building that studio for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 73

By Ihatepants - 01/09/2016 01:37 - United States - Wrightsville

Today, I had a full day of work, a social event, and a doctor's appointment. My son looked at me when I got home and said, "Are your pants on backwards?" Yes, yes they were. All day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 859

You deserved it 2 211

By Anonymous - 14/11/2018 12:00

Today, I'm scared to leave my bedroom. During the night, what must have been a giant spider made a web 4 feet wide stretching from the lightbulb to the tv and then down to the desk corner. It's blocking my path to the door and I can't tell where the 8-legged bastard is hiding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 655

You deserved it 398

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 14:29 - United States - Worcester

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 386

You deserved it 4 204

Love don't pay the rent

By Anonymous - 04/08/2020 23:04

Today, I begged my dad for money, for the first time ever, because even with two jobs I still can’t make rent. When asked why he sent way too little, he replied, "You always said you’d prefer to get love from me rather than money." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 243

You deserved it 337

By Anonymous - 10/01/2013 12:20 - Slovakia

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 027

You deserved it 9 583

Nice victim blaming!

By fuckyoutoothen! - 22/07/2020 08:02

Today, I showed my friend all the dirty messages and dick pics her boyfriend had sent me. I included the ones of me telling him to stop. Instead of being mad at him, she flipped out on me, saying it’s my fault because I “dress too sexy” and he shouldn’t even have my number. He got it from her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 163

By cclllc - 14/08/2012 09:06 - United States - Weatherford

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up. He now argues that he should keep the dog. We only dated for three months, and I've had the dog since I was ten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 899

You deserved it 2 075

By JordanVilleneuve - 28/01/2011 03:35 - Canada

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 165

You deserved it 7 509

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I took my road test. I'd never had driver's training and my mom taught me how to drive. I failed the test so badly, and when I got home my mom admitted to having taught me how to drive completely wrong because she didn't want me to get my license as she thinks I'm too young. I'm 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 788

You deserved it 4 533

By TimJack18 - 04/01/2015 23:14 - United States - Whiteville

Today, in an attempt to be romantic, I kissed my husband as passionately as I could. After, he looked at me and said, "You taste like Chinese food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 823

You deserved it 5 177

By Anonymous - 20/11/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, I got home late after a long day at work and all I wanted to do was take a shower and go to bed. As soon as the water in the shower was hot, I got in. One minute, I was standing and the next I was fast asleep at the bottom of the tub. I woke up with my face swollen and my shoulder bruised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 441

You deserved it 5 241

Helping hand

By Anonymous - 29/07/2020 05:01

Today, my granny has been constipated for the past two days. She is too weak to get out of bed, so I ended up trying to dig the poop out of her butthole with a spoon. Yay me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 678

You deserved it 263

By everore - 25/12/2012 18:12 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 986

You deserved it 3 438

By Anonymous - 25/02/2013 05:44 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 400

You deserved it 3 720

By keisha89 - 22/06/2010 00:27 - United States

Today, I finally met the guy I've been talking to online for a year. I'd dropped 10lbs off my weight. He'd shaved 20 years off his age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 855

You deserved it 38 872

By fartwoman - 23/06/2010 01:41 - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 095

You deserved it 62 789

By Anonymous - 02/10/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, my english teacher asked me why I didn't have my project completed. Thinking quick on my feet I told her it was because my grandmother had just passed away. Apparently they go to the same country club and have known each other for years. My teacher started crying and ran out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 744

You deserved it 73 213

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 807

You deserved it 9 043

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Top comments

Warp1978 15

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Thursday 31 December 2020 20:57

Time to get petty and change the WiFi password on a regular basis for the next year. That'll drive her nuts.

tounces7 27

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Friday 1 January 2021 2:48

If you're an adult, you take her to court to pay for them. And move as far away from her as possible and never talk to her again.

Comments

coius 23

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Thursday 31 December 2020 17:39

And that’s when you destroy whatever device she uses on a regular basis, whether it’s a smartphone, or a toaster/microwave that is meant to make her life easier.

Warp1978 15

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Thursday 31 December 2020 20:57

Time to get petty and change the WiFi password on a regular basis for the next year. That'll drive her nuts.

FluffyMcFluffs 1

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Thursday 31 December 2020 22:36

Question is what did or didn't you do.

Huldan MeGroyn 13

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Friday 1 January 2021 15:51

As an adult, regardless of the crime, how is it appropriate to Hulk out and start smashing out of spite?

FluffyMcFluffs 1

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Friday 1 January 2021 16:05

Agreed it is not appropriate. However if op is an adult that is doing nothing but playing games while Mom works without op even looking for work I could understand frustration. Especially if it was discussed before over and over. Also if op broke something of hers in anger who is to say that didn't happen either. Which was the reason for asking what op did or didn't do.